I am really sorry for what you are going through. We can always look in hindsight at our mistakes. As someone who has experience divorced parents in the brutalist of ways. It is never easy on the child. To me now. Family and working things out is everything. I fell in love with my wife years ago. And she fell in love with me. Whenever we fight we remember why we fell in love. We say we are sorry and we learn to forgive. Things are always going to be tough. But as long as you are both willing to work on it. As long as you can remember why you fell in love. You both can save it. But you both have to be willing to save it. I am so sorry for what you are going through and what your wife is going through. Be honest with yourselves. Even in divorce things find a why of working themselves out. I wish you well on that journey.