So YOU are PERFECT then?!
“Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.” ― Criss Jami
People’s actions are always driven by something. We may not know what that “something” is and we may never understand it fully, but that does not change the fact that it has a source. I have always been of the belief that when you are witness to an emotional outburst unfolding, perhaps even being in the firing line, that you need to remember this fact…
Holding a certain understanding for this, allows you a broader perspective and enables you to better handle the person and / or situation. In short, a little empathy and contemplative consideration can go a long way.
I am faced with this every day in my business. Sometimes, customers can be completely out of line, ridiculously irrational and simply rude. How you handle those situations can greatly re-steer the outcome and more often than not, will generate an explanation as to why they behaved as such which not only diffuses their levels of anger but affords you an insight into the source of it, therefore allowing both parties to move forward.
What I will NEVER understand though, is how certain people who are recipient to some kind of irrational outburst, and have had the initiator of the incident “explain” the “why” to them, will take that information and throw it back into the persons face – refusing to accept or see that honest divulgence is in fact a form of apology and a request for understanding.
If you cannot control your own anger and emotion when it comes to responding to the explanation of person who has upset or hurt you, then I beg the question – HOW are you any different?! And then what gives you the right cast ANY weapon of looming judgement or to press demands of apology on to them in the first place?!
This makes absolutely NO sense to me whatsoever! If you are not able to “be the bigger person” then what right do YOU have, to demand that of another?
How about we reverse that situation for a moment… What then, if YOU are the one doing the hurt or harm, making the mistake or having the outburst? What then? When you step forward and make an attempt at explanation to the recipients of your anger, would you not hope that they would offer understanding? Or would you be happy with them taking what you had offered in terms of “opening up” was thrown back in your face and deemed “not good enough”.
My guess is, NO – you would not be particularly receptive to the latter!
I am far from perfect and I make mistakes every single day of my life. I am also witness to others making mistakes and have therefore always held the opinion that if you do not want to be judged… then don’t judge others. If you want to be understood – then remember to offer understanding… but do NOT stand there pointing out all the mistakes of another person if your slate isn’t clean!
And the reality of the matter is… NONE of our slates are clean!!
So put that in your pipe and smoke it - and perhaps climb down off that jaded pulpit while you are at it ;)
“Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.”
― Corrie ten Boom
Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
This reminds me of an impromptu (and not particularly welcome) family venting session we had a few weeks back. I'll spare you the details (and not just because I have at least one family member lurking around here at the moment...LOL), but suffice to say, at one point, I said to everyone -
"If you say you forgive someone for something they did, you can't then turn around and continually throw it back in their face. You did wrong, they did wrong - there comes a time you have to move past that."
(I may or may not have omitted a few swear words above...)
Very wise words you have put forth in this post, dear rockstar goddess - very wise words indeed.
Oh, and absolutely adore that last quote!
I can SO relate to that @traciyork and in this instance it actually was family related too lol
Thanks for the always lovely feedback and wise words hon xxx
I'm not perfect but I try to do the right thing as per the requirement of the situation and my perception/understanding, etc, etc,etc and try giving my 100% to it. If I make a mistake then I accept it and try to improve. If I fail then I gracefully accept it then analyse it then see the problemo and try to find the solution to it and then try to adopt a different approach in order to be successful. If I get criticized then I try to stay closer to such people because of free improvement . I can learn, improve and grow without spending a lot of money. Awesome eh.
Regarding anger it mostly happens when someone doesn't do the thing you expect them to do or in other words if you don't do what I want you to do then instead of understanding why I'll get angry. So it's better respond than to react because you can't control your reaction but you control your response to the situation.
Brilliantly said @amarbir :)
Hope this helps someone reading this. Have a nice day 😁.
i think forgiveness is an art which makes the personality beautiful.
I agree 110% with that :)
Being able to recognize our own weakness is not always easy.
Perhaps some people are not humble enough to realize the mistakes they make.
Very true @dedicated guy!!! Very true indeed!
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Love it! The lady on the cover and the quote below is perfect!
Thank you
there is no perfect man in this world, if someone else emotions face with a cold head.
Well said @cakphotography :)
Wow. Nice one. Your posts are always good for the soul
Thank you, I appreciate that :)
That was a very interesting read. I have always been the person that will admit hands in the air when i have made a mistake so it does hurt when others can't but i guess we are not all built the same way. never let the sun go down on your wrath my dad used to say. nothing worse than things been swept under the carpet that need sorting out. Good read ;0
Very good advice from your dad!
I totally agree with you...... No body is perfect..... We all make mistakes.....so we shouldn't blame people a lot when they make mistake..... We should also be ready to forgive and accept each others apology to live peacefully always. You always hit the nail on the head and you hardly hide things. I cherish and respect you for such unique behaviour you posses. @jaynie
What a beautiful thing to say @emmanuelachamp... thank you xxx