Are you honestly HONEST?

in life •  2 years ago 

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Being an outspoken and honest individual is not always easy. For as long as I can remember, my inability to filter certain thoughts and/or opinions has often gotten me into trouble as well as in the middle of some rather heated discussions.


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Now, I don’t do this with the intention of creating tension or insulting anyone – I am just blatantly truthful, have a very low tolerance for pretentious people and have absolutely no time for plastic pleasantries”. I am a firm believer in “telling it like it is” - whether that suits the recipient or not… and this most often doesn’t go down very well, earning me labels like “stuck up” or “B*tchy”. Which really isn’t true – I am actually a really nice person, I promise. Hehehe ;) (Stick around, I will prove it)

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The trouble with truth and honesty is that most people don’t actually like it, nor do they want to hear it. They say they do, but the reality is, they merely like the idea of it and that is where it ends.

Everybody LOVES honest people until they are on the receiving end of that knowledge.


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Truly honest people are quickly labelled as “loud mouths” or perhaps referred to as someone who “has no filter”. In my case, I would say that I definitely do have a filter for certain things – like I am not going to announce my true distaste for a person at their funeral or anything like that (oh believe me, there are those that would lol) – that type of thing, to my mind definitely flags as “inappropriate” – but the reality is, that the people who have NO filter, and seem “completely inappropriate” are often the most trustworthy people you will ever meet.

There is no sugar coating there. ZERO!


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I like people like that – like me… hehehe ;)

We are real – and at worst, worth a giggle when certain “inappropriate, unfiltered” truths are blurted out – as for the rest of the time, at least you know where you really stand with us and you are bound to get some very useful insights – if you open your mind to them.

I would rather live with the labels and the raised eyebrows, because I know that I am true to myself and true to others – at least for a greater percentage of the time. I stand firm in the benefits of this character trait, whether it is relating to the piece of spinach stuck in your tooth, or advising you on something completely life changing.


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Living as a truly honest individual sets you apart simply because you hold a completely unique perspective on life, people and circumstance. You view things from a totally different angle and you develop an ability to “cut through the crap” seeing (and voicing) things as they REALLY are – which in turn gives you the ability to problem solve VERY efficiently.

Despite the fact that the information and/or advice offered by honest individuals is not always very delicately delivered or warmly received, I can assure you that it is almost always shared with the best intent. Sometimes it takes a little while for the recipient/s to process and accept it, but 99% of the time, once they have – they realise that the brutal deliverance was done with the intention of enabling growth... and because your care for them is completely genuine.

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The worst kind of “dishonesty” and probably the most common, is the lies people tell themselves - Especially when it comes to “self-talk”. People do this so frequently that they often start to believe the internal justifications – deluding themselves into many potentially negative positions. This is a LOT more common than people realise and is PRECISELY when it is beneficial for a blatantly honest person to step in and wake them up... OR for them to start being honest with themselves - by themselves!


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Quite frankly, I think the world could do with a few more truly honest people – then perhaps others would start removing their rose tinted glasses and stop living in complete avoidance of truth.


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Honesty builds trust. People will learn that they can always rely on you to have their best interests at heart. When you live in constant denial of “truth”, you create what is referred to as “emotional garbage” – being consistently honest allows you to get rid of that garbage and live more “freely”.

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"Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." - Thomas Jefferson

Until next time...

Much love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx

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I find that most people are not technically dishonest, but simply cannot be bothered to learn enough to be in possession of the truth.

I try to be honest, but not for others. I do it for myself. I have difficulty sleeping when I've been less than honest. Now, I don't have many friends, but I sleep like a baby every night.

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seems like a good deal to me ;) and yes, I completely agree with you. Thanks for the input :)

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There will be more bungholes after me!

My pastor taught me- there are truth-tellers and peacemakers. Truth-tellers will tell you like it is, no matter the consequence. The truth hurts sometimes. Peace-makers are pacifiers of the adult world. They want a smooth way of protecting people and making it seem like the world is a good place for all.

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Very interesting! I am most certainly a TRUTH TELLER... and happy with that :) Thank you so much for your support and input xxx

Yeah!

"The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off!"

I realize it's an overused cliché, but I have always found it easier to tell the truth because then there's nothing I have to "remember" in order to maintain an illusion for someone's benefit. As you said, though, it can be tricky... people like honesty UNTIL they happen to be on the receiving end of something less-than-glamorous about their reality.

Great post!

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cliché or not... its the truth! haha... :) (I can see all sorts of humour driven comments coming out of this one...lol) - Thank you for the awesome feedback xxx

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LOL, Denmarkguy. I've never seen that saying before, but I love it: The truth will set you free ... but first it will piss you off! SO-O-O-O-O true (no pun intended).

This is a really good post and I hope it gets more upvotes, as it deserves them!
Sometimes we just don't wanna hear the truth, and that is because we know it is the truth & the truth hurts a lot of the time :O .. and although it hurts there is nothing worse than two faced people. The blow hits much harder.
I just Wish I had the power in my vote to hit your post with a much harder voting power xxx

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thank you so much for your input! Everything you have said is absolutely spot on!

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You're welcome and thank you for taking the time out to reply to me too x

Cool, had better read it, I have a few comments.
I believe it is essential for you to draw the distinction between honesty and truthfulness.

Honesty is shaped by opinion while the truth is shaped by fact.

This is, then, best modified by an understanding of relativism. Essentially, understanding that there are very few universal truths in existence, the rest falls into the thin line between reality and perception: opinion.

There is little wrong about being honest, except when your honesty breaks truth. This is where cognitive dissonance comes in. You may think you are being honest, but if your statements are based on less than complete truths, it is unfactual.

On a grander level, being factual is utterly important, but too difficult for outspoken people. That is why attempting to be proper in honesty is important. This is where political correctness comes in.

Though political correctness sounds like a dogmatic attack on free speech and honesty, it is merely a suggestion. It is a means to shape your honesty with the truthful harms of being improperly outspoken. If you like mathematics, I wrote an article addressing this in the context of microaggressions:
https://medium.com/@JPederson96/microaggressions-a-statistical-understanding-of-emotional-impacts-25f93b18d36b

If you want to understand why certain words, in particular, should be cautioned, it comes from how loaded the word is. Like you expressed, you dislike being called a B*tch. That word loads a punch. There are ways you can load a word without being offensive.

I wrote an article on loaded language here:
https://medium.com/@JPederson96/loaded-language-a-rational-choice-theory-application-cca039a35f8

Essentially, think of language as means to carry weight to message and filling your message with hate, be it intentional or not, harms your own message. Load it with power, instead, by understanding diction and stronger word choice.

My best example is idiot versus eejit. Eejit is a latin word that means idiot, but eejit is stronger. Eejit is a whip while the idiot is a stumble, but I explain it in the article above.

Thanks for the article and I hope my comment lends some worth to you!
Love,
JP

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Thank you for your insight - I have read it and re-read it and whilst I can appreciate the accuracy of it - I am not sure that you are going to like what I am about to say... every single aspect of your approach is factual, and if I am "honest" my entire piece was gut driven - and as anybody who operates on a gut driven level will testify, there is little or no "analysis" that comes into that process - it is an emotionally and spiritually geared one.

If there was the same level of analysis, then it would become a thought driven - "logical/practical" approach (which is how I am seeing yours.) It is flooded with a thousand facts but no "feeling".

I do not operate on those levels. (honestly no offense meant) - my post was a lot less about the facts and much more about the energetic level of honesty and its impact. I wasn't really looking to dissect the difference between the words and so forth.

Re. your quote: On a grander level, being factual is utterly important, but too difficult for outspoken people. That is why attempting to be proper in honesty is important. This is where political correctness comes in.

Perhaps this is so, because they are emotionally driven and not mentally driven. Political correctness and facts are of zero consequence. Feeling, is!

Honesty can be heart driven. A place which often sees little logic, but is seldom wrong.

I think we have two very contrasting view points on this. Neither wrong, just both very different. :)

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Agreed, however, I want to devolve something for a moment.

You are placing logic and emotion as mutually exclusive things as if one does not influence the other. This is a societally placed logic that has existed for far too long to try and effectively devolve on the mass level.

Logic can drive emotion and emotion can drive logic. Some people have a logical person and others have a passionate personality; and, even this is very complex which is why it isn't a binary "this type or that type of person" because there are sixteen personality types.

This is why B*tch is very offensive. It associates outspoken to negative; it associates passionate to negative; most importantly, it associates females to overly emotional which suggests emotions and logic contradict each other.

Also, no offense taken :)! I love discussion and philosophical topics.

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I think I have a lot more than sixteen personality types. lol ;) Thanks again for the input and feedback :) - personality No. 25 :D

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Fair enough

Thanks for the post, I resteemed and I will get back to it when I have time to give better commentary.

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no worries :) How polite of you to even bother to let me know.... VERY impressed :)

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Thanks, I want to give the full post a thorough reading and proper analysis before giving any meaningful commentary, but I also don't want to forget about the post. I also want to comment without doing your meaningless "good post" comment that we all know usually means we didn't read the post.

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yes... agreed!!! "aint nobody got time for those" lol ;)

I find honesty is practiced with caution. Most people have been fed from silver spoons their sugar-coated truths. So it's a delicate balance. I like harmony, so being honest requires a delicate balance of what they need to know and what they want to hear. Often times, I come off as brash and insensitive, but I also feel those same people then, needed to hear it that way. Good post doll.

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You clearly have the more tactful approach. :) I am a little more brutal in that respect... and despite knowing what you are saying is true, I am who I am and efforts to change that have been futile, so I have learnt to accept it :)

and thank you xxx....xxxx..xx.x.x.x :)

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Don't get me wrong, I have completely destroyed people with my honesty...I just find it hard not to be. BUT, sometimes I don't like to fight, and those times, are times when placebos will do.

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I hear you! :)

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OOhh ya, you're welcome lol xxooxx

Resteemed !! I love this. I too get myself in trouble with honesty.

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but it is so much fun, isn't it ;) hehehe :D thank you for the support!!! xxx

Honesty is great however the wrong thing with our society is that they tend to listen and support those who say anything to get elected in office, good post..upped. Thanks for sharing

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I hear you... but, THAT is not honesty... it is deception!

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Correct.

everyone says me that i am honest...and thats my drawback...need to change slowly...lol

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NO! NEVER CHANGE!!!! lol - Stop listening to them... the don't know what they are talking about!!! lol

SIGH once again I can relate, but I will rather be a loudmouth and honest than a hypocrite. Resteeming .

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ABSOLUTELY!!!!!! sigh lol ;) hehehehe

I enjoyed this post, honestly. LOL

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hahahaha!!!! ;) Thank you @jetblake :P

@jayne I so relate to this post! My honesty has gotten me into so much trouble at time. It has also gained me a lot of respect from those who appreciate honesty . They know that what you see is what you get. You are also a lot like me in the respect that you hear what they mean and not what they say. Nice to connect with others like myself!

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Thanks for the wonderful feedback @thethreehugs - Glad you could relate to it :) and yes! it is always fabulous to connect with like-minded people.

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:)

Great post Jaynie.

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Thank you - much appreciated :)

I 1000% agree. Must be true to yourself regardless if others think you are too blunt just because you speak your truth. Very well written. Love that girl's hair color! <3

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This post received a 3.9% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @jaynie! For more information, click here!

NOM

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om nom nom :)

This is a fabulous post, Jaynie. I particularly like the Warren Buffett quotation at the beginning. Isn't that the truth?!? (Ha ha. No pun intended.)

From the little I've learned of your life here on Steemit, I suspect you've been honest from very early on in the piece. Like when you set out on your own graphic design path in grade ten. :-)

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Its the only way I know how to be actually! Thanks for the lovely comment @judyroberts xxx

After reading your post about honesty, I will have to be honest with you, my line of work requires me not to be too honest at times. 😅 But I have friends that are just like you and it's great to be around them.

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thank you for the feedback @shlimmm - There are always circumstance that demand us to behave in a certain manner, and that is understandable - but the mere fact that you find your honest friends refreshing... says everything :)