Life is too short for unnecessary Arguments – Save your Relationships

Relationships can be tough on you when everything you expected out of it doesn’t seem to be happening and everything you feared of, starts showing its signs. To be honest, it’s all a mind game and sometimes, we end up getting exactly the opposite of we want because of our fear. Our constant fear makes us believe that it’s going to happen and we somewhat start behaving irrationally too. It might be difficult to understand the reason of why certain things are happening but sometimes it's indirectly related to our own behaviour.

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There could be many reasons for why relationships start falling apart. We humans are not perfect and we can only work on improving things and use our minds to understand and analyze the situation in our way and try to really understand a problem. Saving a relationship from falling apart needs some serious actions that might sound easy to do but require a lot of patience and much more sense of understanding and compensation towards each other. Sometimes, the relationships we hold the closest to ourselves require the most amount of hard work. Be it with siblings, parents, friends or your significant other. Here are some tips that I’ve recently come across. Hope it helps!

We often don’t fail to understand the root cause of a problem. Sometimes we start off with one topic and end up fighting at some other, probably even irrelevant topic and don’t even realize what the actual problem is. The next time you get into an argument, take a second to understand what it is that is actually making you feel angry. The reason may not always be what it looks like. You may be feeling mad about something that probably happened sometime back but you are just looking for reasons to blurt it out. The best way to deal with it is to start observing the patterns. What is it that repeats everytime or that happens everytime you get into a fight with someone close to you. Maybe you feel angry when you come back home from work and just need a reason to release your frustration or it could be that your significant other feel angry when they're hungry. So what you can do is avoid bringing up sensitive topics at such times but make sure you talk about it later.

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There are various topics that we would rather choose to not talk about, no matter how much it is needed to be talked about. We don’t realize the importance of communication. Delivering your point of view as well as your concerns helps in developing a greater understanding towards each other. Not everybody has the guts to do, because of which a lot of assumptions are formed and a relationship keeps weakening. Having problems in a relationship is not as big a deal as not talking about it is. If anything, it makes matters even worse and everything that has not been communicated comes out in the form actions that suggest respect and annoyance. Unfortunately, respect lost for each other takes a lot of efforts to gain back.

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During arguments and bad times, the hardest part is to actually listen. When we are angry, we often lose control over our mind and say things we don’t even mean. We think in only one perspective and become rigid with our opinions, be it about anything. Sometimes, even when we are not angry and if something is going wrong in a relationship or it's not working out, we start having one-sided thoughts and in a way, we block our minds from thinking otherwise. By listening, I don’t just mean listening to the words being said, it's about listening and truly understanding where the words are coming from and what all the crying is screaming for. Not everybody is good with words and it's our responsibility to make sure that our loved ones are at least comfortable talking to us and sharing their concerns with us.

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When we want to make a relationship work, efforts have to be made. It's not an overnight process and it's not one man's job. People involved in a relationship should first separately think about what they want to change their relationship and then sit together and figure out together how it can be done. Remember that only if you think about it, you will find out the problem. You definitely will find out what’s wrong. If you feel like the situation is not in your hands anymore then the best way is to sit and think about whats bothering you the most. Once you do understand, start making efforts to change it, even if it involves some change on your part.