When my heart aches, I sometimes remember to read the opening paragraph of a book that changed my life.

I used to be an avid reader. I still read a lot compared to "average" modern-day-busy-TV junkie person, probably because I don't own a TV (never did really), or probably because books have to power to open the door to Magic. Same as painting, same as anything that entices imagination and slows down the mind, ceaselessly wondering to past or future.

I read much less now though. That's because I paint. That's double full time job, no more public transport time (I always used to read in buses and metro), no more 3 or 4 or 5pm end of shit and go home. I work pretty much all waking hours, and when I don't work I do errands or walk the seawall or do sports. When I come home it's so late already that I take shower, bath if I'm lucky, and hit the sack right away. I wake up early, do my breathing exercises, do my push ups, pull ups, cold shower and off I head to studio again. Recent years I mostly read when I travel (which is often), or when I'm sick (which is never because I'm a green smoothie maniac with miraculous immune system:).

Obviously many of the hundreds of books I read had a major impact on my life. The one I want to mention today is in my top 5 books, maybe even top 3. Who knows, it might even be the number 1!

The book is called Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts.

It's a thick book (almost 1000 pages), even so, I read it twice. Someone gave it to me in spring of 2008, when I was slaving for Microsoft in Dublin. I was already decided to leave and go travel, so somebody thought that I should read it. Oh God what a gift... That book definitely made me want to go to India and live adventures, which I eventually did. I read it the second time in 2010, when I was leaving Australia, headed to Asia and from there to India. For me, it was a heart preparation for the sub-continent. I fell in love with it even before I went there. Despite the dirt, despite the hassle, despite the poverty and uncompromising harsh reality of millions living there.

The man himself. Ex-criminal on the run and drug addict, over years of intense trials transformed into a man of honor and integrity.

I won't tell you what it is about. You'll have to read it, or just read the review here:

https://www.bookdepository.com/Shantaram-Gregory-David-Roberts/9780349117546
Book Depository ships for free worldwide.

But I will tell you two more things before quoting the opening paragraph which made me write this blog. First: I almost caught him. I mean Shantaram. I mean Gregory, the guy who wrote this book. Yes he still lives in India and his story is autobiographic (mostly), so the places he describes in the book are real and he really used to go there. Obviously he is a celebrity there, so I asked for him, and missed him in Mumbai twice by just a day or two. I wanted to shake his hand so badly, he was and still is my super hero. Not some stupid pop star or president, a true human hero.

Obviously you can find tons of interviews with Gregory on youtube, he was even guest of Oprah, but this short one is my favorite. What he says is just SO DAMN TRUE and motivating to become better man!! Watch it please, it's just 3 minutes long!

Second: not many people know that major Hollywood producer started to shoot Shantaram movie in collaboration with Bollywood production years ago (8?) and were actually well progressed down the path when the movie production suddenly stopped. I don't know why. But I know who was the main actor, supposed to embody Shantaram: JOHNNY DEPP. Yup, it would be that good! Sucks that they argued with Bollywood or something else went wrong, who knows, but the book is still here and you should read it.

As you can see, Johnny Depp was candid about Shantaram! Too bad it didn't happen!

It made me cry hundred times and when I feel like crying, I read the first opening paragraph, and realize that I can survive any hardship, because he did too and it made him a beautiful, generous, humble and caring human being:

IT TOOK ME a long time and most of the world to learn what I know about love and fate and the choices we make, but the heart of it came to me in an instant, while I was chained to a wall and being tortured. I realised, somehow, through the screaming in my mind, that even in that shackled, bloody helplessness, I was still free: free to hate the men who were torturing me, or to forgive them. It doesn't sound like much, I know. But in the flinch and bite of the chain, when it's all you've got, that freedom is a universe of possibility. And the choice you make, between hating and forgiving, can become the story of your life.

Yup, you guessed it, even now, after reading this hundredth time, I still have tears in my eyes. And today, I will read it again before I close my eyes in bed. I need it.

And what is your no.1 book that touched your heart deeply?

Thank you for reading and for being human,

Much Love,
Jan

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