There's still freer than that - I've contemplated it a few times myself...but I'm still here, wherever that is. So, yeah, still not really free at all.

Our minds' self-defense mechanisms can make it difficult to really hold and see the fact that we mostly operate at a level that keeps us barely content enough to agree to go through the motions every day...until one day, we catch an honest thought; one small thought with all the energy of a tidal wave, one brief moment of mental clarity - "oh, how I've wasted my time on such petty and superficial affairs...what a fool I've been."

I've experienced more life between two breaths than I have within whole years of "living".

The "me" that I think is being honest with itself is a great cause of depression and anxiety. Fortunately, the lack of "me", the real self that I know when all the bullshit programs in my mind stop running (replaying memories, re-living painful experiences on continuous loop) - that self; it is very compassionate for all the mistakes that a mind run by so many self-destructive programs and beliefs has made. That self can look at the past and laugh, knowing well that everything isn't so serious and that things can be just as good and beautiful today, regardless of what happened yesterday.