If You Want to Be a Writer, Write
It’s as simple as that.
So many of us have dreams of being a writer, or being an actor, or an artist or dancer, or at the very least becoming good at certain things. But the only way to become that is to be that, to start doing the action consistently, day in, day out.
If you want to be a musician, practice everyday, consider yourself a musician. If you want to get in shape, exercise everyday, eat healthy everyday, do the things that you'd be doing if you already were in shape, not the things you do now that have kept you out of shape.
Many of us have ample opportunities to achieve our dreams, we just don’t act on them, we sit back and dream and never follow through. I found myself in a lull of writing recently, I wasn’t writing, and my excuse was finding new direction. But no excuses, I should have been writing anyways, even if it was just a journal or things I wouldn't publish! Writing is something I know I want to do, even if it's just for me, but sometimes we don't have our direction yet, and if we don't have direction, we're just wandering through life.
So let's talk about direction, how can we find ours? While I was working to find a new angle, the main thing I was trying to do was find a balance and determine my priorities. What do I really want? Who do I want to be? I think these are the first questions we should ask ourselves before pursuing a path. Where are we aiming?
For me I have a few things that take priority:
- Being a father - A good father. I want to spend time with my daughter, provide for her, and help her grow and learn in life. That’s priority one right now.
- Be a good partner - To my now fiance Karen. That means being there for her in every way I can be and working with her to find our definition of success in life.
- Take care of myself - This is both my first and last priority. I think we need to take care of ourselves in order to take care of everything else, but I also feel that sometimes taking care of others is taking care of ourselves.
- Cover my responsibilities - Take care of my dog, my house, my bills, etc.
Beyond that I have too many goals:
- Be a writer
- Make a podcast
- Get in good enough shape that running is fun again
- Learn guitar/music
- Become a decent cook
- Learn to dance
- Read my backlog of books
- Become enlightened or whatever
Adding all this up it becomes a balancing act of sorts for me. I may have picked too many things to focus on, too many things to do all at once, but that’s kind of how I like it. I’m on my time to accomplish my side goals, and I make sure to put my best foot forward on my priorities. One thing that has helped recently in this balancing act is moving to a 30 hour work week.
I talked it over with my boss and he has agreed to a M-W workweek of 10 hour days, which lines up with my ideal lifestyle much more and gives me time to work on side projects. So lately I’ve been feeling really good. I’m still working through finding that balance, but things are starting to come together.
I’m getting to the point where I can find time to write a few articles a week, do a podcast a week, keep in better touch with people, and still live life with my family. Now that I’m getting in a good rhythm I feel confident I can become a writer, I can become a podcaster, and I can be the man I want to be. A father who focuses on health and wellness of all types, mental, emotional, physical, spiritual. Someone who still pursues their passions while taking care of my responsibilities.
The title says if you want to be something do that something, and that's what we all should be doing. Don't do things because someone tells you to or you think it's normal or the right thing, do things that will bring you to your goal, work with people in the field you want to be in, learn from them, learn everything you can about what you are aiming for.
I want to be a lot of things, I want to be myself and do things my way. I’m the only one who can be me, I’m the only one who can know myself and what I want. Everyone is that way. Everyone is a wonderful individual, and we’re all learning. Find out what you’re aiming for and do those things that will get you there, and never get discouraged, even if you fail, try again, even if it takes a day, a week, or a month to get started again.
If you stopped, START NOW.
From ya boi,
I'm glad to see you writing regularly again. I really resonate with the idea that if you're going to do something, you really have to be it. I quit smoking many years ago only by becoming a non-smoker, not a smoker trying to quit. Similarly, you get yourself writing because you are a writer and a writer writes. To quote Annie Dillard, a painter loves the smell of the paint. It's not a hat we wear saying "writer, painter, etc." but a way of life that naturally produces the art.
Smart move on the 3 day workweek!
Your daughter is so adorable. Thanks for sharing the pic.
Thanks, she's the best, yeah I totally agree, it's easy to think we want to be something but unless we start being it and enjoy it we will never know. Being something usually takes a good deal of practice, so we should find out if we like it before puttting all our eggs in one basket.
How's the new location?
I'm still very much in transit. Buying one house. Renting another. Staying in a couple airbnbs before I get to either. Such a long todo list for being retired!
Really awesome post @jakey
Love that picture of you and your daughter! Love, love, love.
She looks like an absolute sweetie-pie!
And totally agree with this... Excuses and disempowering thoughts are the main obstacle to actually getting somewhere...
I've realized this. That when I sit down and get in the flow of something, I'm usually off to the races before I know it. It's the mental block of just going for it... Not for the final result, because nobody can predict what the outcome of any adventure will be...
Just going there for the adventure
Going there cos' we're alive.
That's the stuff that dreams are made of.
I hope you will find the balance you seek and achieve great success in your main, noble goals. (As well as in your awesome side-goals which you should totally go for whenever you have the time!)
The good news with writing, as opposed to say professional football, as you have a lot more time to get really good at it, and you will be able to enjoy being really good at it for much longer. Don't take that to mean anything else than if you get started right now and keep it up, you'll have a life-long friend! (When little cutie pie is off in the world becoming the next big thing!)
Peace n love xx
Thanks for the kind words! Yea, writing is a great hobby, and so many options with it. I think everyone should do some form of writing, I will be with it either writing about spiritual stuff or fiction sometime down the road. It's always fun
Totally! Writing, words, and thought are so intertwined.
Sometimes you can't really know what you think about something until you just put it all down on paper, organize it, play with it, and put everything together in a way that "feels right"
That's why I got so excited by Steemit... Wasn't because it's a place I can "earn monies"
It's cos it's a place I can write, share my writings with others, interact, learn, have fun.
That's what is so cool about this...
Where else am I gonna post a 3000 word piece about something that really bothered me, or really excited me, fascinated me, disgusted me, etc...
Not Facebook, not Twitter, not Reddit, not anywhere...
This place is just the tits for people who want to explore their creativity and thoughts, esthetics, etc
Great to see you back and pumped! The only thing I would say (and you know its gonna be a little left-field) Is that there is only one word in this piece that really, well, lets say, doesn't do it for me, and that's the 'should's.
If inspiration arises, cool. let it arise and you will find yourself riding that wave. Because ultimately, you's being a ridden.
I don't want to spoil the party in any way, but the inspiration for you to begin writing again, how did you conjure that up? And likewise, the lull, how come that came about.
There is a phantom on the loose. And its fine when he plays ball, but gets a little sticky when that inspiration dries up.
The river flows, it can't be directed. There is only flow, -sit back a go with it - you will anyway.
You remain my inspiration :)
Haha, man you always seem to be there tightening up my words, because sometimes I speak loosely. "Should" is one of those loose words. No one should do anything, like you said life flows. So you're dead on, I shouldn't have used that word because it lines up with there being an idea of the right thing to do, but there is no real right thing, there are just things we are drawn to or spurred to do from inside. Everything else we do we do for approval, which is not what I'm about, I'm about freedom ;)
The reason I took some time off was to digest some of the realizations or teachings I was receiving. I am just finishing that I Am the Word book and plan on lightly rereading it before the next one. It's powerful stuff, one of those books that fell into my lap at the right time.
My reason for writing was that the habits I replaced writing with during my lull were ones that I don't want to keep, writing has always been my outlet to help me understand myself and just for expression. Writing and running when I'm fit, great form of expression. And started picking up the guitar. But my inspiration is always at the keyboard, the thing that keeps me from writing is wondering what to write. I can never figure it out til I start, which is how I like it.
Thanks for the honest comment, you and a few others always keep me on track and tighten up my understanding and wording and I really appreciate it. Much love, hope you've been doing well the past few weeks!
Its all crazy-making stuff really....Liking the guitar/keyboard vibe.
Fighting to have exact 8 things in my goal and target. Apart from i dont have any kids right now. But, the hectic routine and overloaded working hours of the far east are just so annoying.
It certainly can feel that way out here... I like China though, sure the routine is hectic, and you work all the time, but actually being so active gives one a lot of momentum that can happily spill over into other more enlightening and positive things... At least in my experience. Which Far East country are you hailing from?
Yes thats true, only if you dont give in much to the korean dream. I am from south korea
Can't wait to head there! :3
So there's a South Korean dream?
I didn't believe in the American one so I came over to this side of the world! I think believing in a "dream" of a country might not be the best way to go through lyfe ^_^
For me all people and all countries have something to offer, never just our own.
I've been in China for two years and they say there is a dream here, but really all I see is just a booming economy and lots of opportunities. As for a "Dream"? Haha, if driverless cars and 3D holograms for our cellphones is "the dream" I guess it's worth making lots of money and investing in those countries ^^'
I still haven't made it to either Korea or Japan! (Korea FIRST please!)
Been working like a little slave but I can tell will all be worth it!
I will say this, as an outsider to East Asian cultures, I find this part of the world to be the best to be in right now... Maybe if I was born around here I would hate it though! I feel foreigners get treated really well in these countries... Not sure same can be said for visiters in the West!
It's really cool when you finally build that bridge and are able to relate with the people here... I've found Korean, Japanese, and Chinese culture to be incredibly complex and fascinating
Good luck in your crazy chase for riches and fulfillment! :)
Just loved the way and the amount of information you put in this message. Many things said and much rightly said. With very slight exceptions, if you found that china is doing good in terms of foreigners i suggest do not move from there :) South Korea looks good in the start because they keep looking at you like zoo monkey but you realize that you dont get any benefits in fact they all just try to squeeze you. With long working hours, forcing to follow complex korean rules. If you are a female foreigner they would think they can just jump across all boundaries on you. They would behave with you the way they dont even imagine with another korean. It all feels alien. I agree, driver-less cars and holograms are not everything, I think the best is to stay in 1 country for a couple of years and then shift :)
Hey @nahus
Sorry for the late reply!
Yeah, I think moving to South Korea or Japan is not my goal at this point. What you said sounds like it would be my experience! It already took a lot to learn mandarin but I'm just beginning to be able to enjoy the culture here "from the inside". And of course lots of cool opportunities for the future! My dream is to be able to earn money in the mainland, but live in Hong-Kong! *It's a Goldilocks love story for me! The perfect blend of an international and cosmopolitan city with a distinct Chinese heritage and culture!
! + Hong-Kong people are like 10 times more impressed with a foreigner who speaks Mandarin than they are in Beijing ^^
Usually I'm not so impressed when people look down on people from other parts of the world but so far in China I've been able to build my "face" and people seem to treat me like a human being, for which I'm very grateful :)
You're right though, maybe move countries every two years is not always enough to get the most out of a place but I agree being a little nomadic and being a citizen of the world makes for a very rich life!
Thanks for your great answer! Great points of view you kindly shared with me :)
Very honest and also quite funny ^^
I always love your detailed and comprehensive answers, explaining how and what happened and especially, what you felt. It is indeed a dream to stay in Hong Kong as it is more multicultural and accepting. But, at the same time it is crazy expensive. I have a friend living there and she cries almost every day because her room is pretty small, no place to cook.
Well, i dont wanna be negative on everything. lolz as people some times just exaggerate their misery to avoid bad luck. But, i am pretty sure there are many who love the place, for which they do not want to leave from there.
So, yes it takes time for east sections of the world to accept an alien but they are getting used to it and it is actually fun to see how they interact :) Good luck with all the travels of your life.
Thank you so much for warm comments, really means a lot to me
Ya, that work ethic is unreasonable for personal life imo, why 8 things? too much to focus on otherwise?
haha yes actually you mentioned 8 things so i just focused them. Actually, 4 of them are pretty much top priority. Fighting to get work-life balance
great picture of Mila, and that was at our house. You really must be stashing pictures and not sharing. Glad to see you posting again. You are right, finding a new direction is not an excuse for not writing. Your priorities sound right also. Now you just need to complete the 7 day wayback music challenge since I nominated you again! :)
Ya I will one day, I'll have to check it out again. I have a few extra photos...
I love that picture, send it to me
You gave the right advice in your article. We need to achieve our goals, but it is very difficult.
Why do you think it's difficult? I think it can be difficult but a lot of it comes from mindset and expectations
Great message. It was fun to read your journey and everything you're trying to do. I love the creative work schedule! So smart. We just have the one life, so how can we get as much out of it as we can?
Yes, if you want to write you must actually write. It took me way more years than I care to count to figure that one out. I'm writing now. A lot. For so long I was afraid of the work, the commitment, the failures, the rejections, etc. And I was busy with young kids. All those things can get in the way pretty easily. I find it's very motivating to be involved in a writing group. And I love the Steemit contests.
Your baby is adorable!