Bad Choices
I have a family member who seems drawn to bad relationships like a moth to a flame. No matter how blatantly abusive her boyfriends may be, either physically or psychologically, she can't seem to say, "enough is enough, we're done." Or worse still, she says that but never follows through.
If you are in a toxic relationship, you're not ignorant of the toxicity, you're trying to excuse it and sweep it under the rug. If this is you, know that it will not get better. Liars won't reform. Cheaters won't turn honest. The violent will not become suddenly peaceful. Don't waste your time and energy trying to change them.
If this strikes a chord with you, take action. If you know someone in such circumstances, you probably won't be able to persuade them, but try at least. If this is you, get out of that situation, because you can't change them. And if you are the abuser, grow up and reform, because you need to do that yourself. Now.
What if they are afflicted with mental illness?
That truly complicates the whole situation. Counseling can be very helpful, and sometimes medications are a useful tool, but the side effects can make matters even worse.
Yeah, it doesn’t help when the person doesn’t want to seek counselling and the family thinks “making their loved one seem crazy” is a form of control.
All of the sudden, you are the bad guy.
Are there good relationships? Are such things possible?
That's dark. At the very least, there are better and worse relationships, and she chooses worse.
I've never had a good relationship, so I'm somewhat skeptical that good ones are possible. I've had some I thought were good... until they left me the first time there was a difficulty. One of them now says she made a mistake, but there's no way to go back and fix it.
Yes, some were better than others, but I'm just too easy to walk away from.
I hope she decides to find a better (or even good) relationship.
I think it's based in an inability to discern between cost and worth.
If a relationship is costly, in tears and pain, then it must also be worthwhile.
If it's easy and fun and carefree, then it must be cheap and worthless.
Insidious trap for sure.