THE ULTIMATE GUIDE (science) TO TEXTING GIRLS

in #life6 years ago

This guide will give you all the basics of texting women and plenty of actual text messages that you can send to girls right away.

Texting is another tool for your proverbial tool belt. Keep in mind that you don’t need to text girls. I’ve had plenty of interactions with women that went incredibly well that I didn’t use any texting lines or routines, I just called the girl and asked her out, and you’ll be sur- prised at how well that will work if you made a great first impression.

Also, keep in mind that the text messages in this guide will not work for every woman in every situation. They are intended for you to have a better understanding of attraction and female psychology so you will have a better idea of what to text women. Use your best judgment of when and how to use them. If you have questions or don’t understand something found in this guide, you can ask a dating coach during your Skype session.

At the end of this guide you’ll get a free 30 minute a 1-on-1 Skype or phone session with a top dating expert to get all of your questions an- swered when it comes to women and dating, approaching and attract- ing, first dates and sexual escalation, and phone and text messaging women.

TEXTING FACTS

· People text more than they make actual phone calls. Girls text almost two times as much as they talk on the phone.

· It’s the preferred method of communication for women in their 20’s

· Text messages are usually read within 15 minutes of being received and responded to within one hour

· Women text more than men

· The peak hours for texting are between 10.30pm and 11.00pm

· 44% of U.S. mobile subscribers text message regularly; nearly 100% among teens, 85% among college students, 65-70% among young adults, 55% for those in their 30’s, 14% of those 65 and older.

· Text conversations are missing over 93% of the input as face-to-face interaction because of the lack of voice tonality, body language and fa- cial expressions.

BASIC PRINCIPLES

· Texting is used to reinitialize contact, set up the date, build attraction and comfort, or to get her on the phone to have a “real” conversation in order to build more comfort, attraction and/or ask her out on a date.

· You should text her within 24hrs of meeting her so she remembers as much as possible from the initial interaction. If I meet a woman during the day, I like to text her about 5 minutes after the interaction so that she is used to me texting her and accepts that I will be apart of her life. This might seem too soon, but if you text her in a fun non-needy way it, you will come across as confident. The idea is to keep the emotional momentum going and to keep the attraction as high as possible, while avoiding the annoying “who is this?” text.

· Use callback humor from the initial interaction. Callback humor is when you refer to humorous topics or events that happened in a previ- ous interaction. This will bring her back to the same emotional state that she was in when you met her. This is primarily used for women you meet at bars and clubs.

· Use nicknames. A great way to use callback humor is using a playful name that you called her from the first interaction. This could be a strip- per name, pornstar name, boy name, etc. (all explained during your live session).
*Other nicknames: girly face, sassy pants, queen nerd, dork, sex kitten, sex ninja, nerdball, crazy girl, otterpop, glitter princes and goober. You can even rhyme the end of your text using a nickname.

The Attractive Man’s Ultimate Guide to Texting Girls © 2010 All Rights Reserved
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Example: Peace out girlscout!

· Always sign your name on the first text that you send. This will avoid her wondering who is texting her, which can reduce her attraction to you. Remember the idea of texting is to show your fun playful side, not to be overly serious or have her wondering who you are.

· Try not to use too many jokes or anything that has room for misinter- pretation. Remember she can’t hear your tone or the way you are saying something and you don’t want to make her think you are a rude jerk by mistake.

· When sending a text that could be misinterpreted as mean or negative, use emoticons so she knows you are joking.
Examples of emoticons: :) ;) :p :-) =) =} =]

· Show that you are a “Multidimensional Man” by showcasing your genuine side, playful side, leadership side, and fun and interesting side.

· Avoid asking too many questions. Women find this annoying during actual conversation as well as through text. When you do ask questions, ask them in a more fun interesting way. You’ll see plenty of examples later.

· Be unpredictable and challenging enough to keep her inter-
ested. Don't always send long replies, don't always reply quickly, don't always be serious, and don’t always be joking. Sometimes you should let her end the conversation and sometime you should end the conversa- tion. When you do too much of one thing it makes you appear too

The Attractive Man’s Ultimate Guide to Texting Girls © 2010 All Rights Reserved

predictable.
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· Don't try to impress her through text messages. Trying to write a bunch of information that you assume will impress her, usually has the opposite effect.

· Be fun, flirty and interesting from the start. Attractive women get texts from guys all day long so you need to stand out. You want to intrigue her and make her curious about you.

· Wording is key. You could text her “hey whats up” which is boring and completely unoriginal. Or you could text her “hey crazy girl what kind of trouble you causing?”. Which do you think she’ll respond better too?

· Don’t use a lot of slang, abbreviations or anything that has multiple interpretations with foreign women. They probably won’t understand. Tone things down and be a lot more basic and too the point with women that have trouble with the English language.

· Don’t write super long texts that take three or more messages to send. Remember, the person writing the most is the person that’s most invested in the interaction. This concept, along with many others in this guide, will be explained in detail during your 1on1 session.

WHY TEXT?

· You don’t have to respond right away. You have time to think of a clever or funny response.

· She doesn’t have to respond right away. She won’t feel any sense of pressure from you. You can communicate something to her without her having to screen you. Where as in a phone call, she has to decide right then and there if she wants to talk to you at that exact moment.

· Time management. You can text her at anytime you want.You can literally set up a date with a women while you are taking a crap! Plus you can send mass texts to avoid writing the same thing to multiple girls.

TEXTING MINDSET

· Send it and forget it. Don’t keep checking your phone to see if she responded. Don’t keep checking your outbox to see if you spelled something wrong. This will drive you crazy. Just send the text and then move on to something else.

· Have the mindset that she is having a boring day and its your job to cheer her up and make her smile.

· She doesn’t have to respond. Don’t get worked up because she didn’t respond to your text(s). You don’t know what kind of day she may have had. It could have been the worst day or week of her life and she just doesn’t want to talk to anyone. You just don’t know, so don’t beat yourself up over it.

· Don’t give up. You never know whats going on in her life. If she doesn’t respond to a text you can use the following rule:

Wait a day then text her again
Still no response: wait two days then text her again Still no response: Wait three days then text her again And so forth.

If the number goes cold after a few days remember you can always reengate in the future with one of the texts from the “Numbers That Have Gone Cold” section of this guide.

· She’s not the most important thing in the world. If you’re in the mid-

dle of something important and a woman you like texts you, don’t stop everything you are doing just to text her back.

· Don’t be needy. Think: “What would I do if I had 10 other women in my life?” Become a high value guy who has women in your life. You can always fake it till you make it.

BUILDING ATTRACTION

Attraction dissolves over time. The idea is to use texting to maintain the attraction that she had for you during the initial interaction until the first date. Attraction can be maintained by using fun text messages that assume a level of comfort, contain humor, tease her in a playful fun way and are flirty without being overly needy or nice. This is done by text messages that include playful teasing, funny jokes, role playing, randomness, unpredictability, flipping the frame and role reversals.

BUILDING COMFORT

Don’t worry about trying to build too much comfort with her through texting. This is done more in person and talking over the phone. How- ever, fun text messages that make her smile without making her feel like she has to write back will build comfort.

Another way is through mirroring. This is the concept of matching what she is doing, without making it obvious. You can match her style of tex- ting by using the same types of abbreviations, emoticons, acronyms, etc. that she uses.

But, it’s more important to make sure you don’t do anything that will break comfort.

Things that can break her comfort with you:

· Texting her too often if she has a slow response. If she is getting an- noyed by you texting her too much it’ll make you seem needy, which kills attraction and comfort. You are probably texting her too much if her response is always slow, she doesn’t engage, and she never initiates the conversation.

Texting her too infrequent is not good either, especially if she is really attracted to you. You are probably texting her enough if she initiates conversation, re- sponds quickly, engages back, moves things forward.

· Trying to make plans with her too early. Comfort often is built
through time. If she doesn’t feel comfortable enough to go on a date
with you its better to wait and keep sending fun playful text messages and talk to her on the phone until she feels more comfortable with you.

· Responding negatively. Women will sometimes test you to see how you respond so she can decide if she wants to go on a date with you. She might send a text to you that completely throws you off. Or you might make plans with her and then she flakes. If you text her some-

thing angry or rude, it shows her that you are deeply affected by what she did and demonstrates that you are a weak man who can be easily af- fected by women. A woman wants a man who gets his self worth and happiness dependent from her and her actions.

· Being too predictable. If you always respond to her messages right away you may come off as trying too hard, or that you don’t have any- thing going on in your life. Instead seem to be a little bit of a challenge by responding at different times. Also, don’t always text her in the same way every time. Show different sides of your personality such as joking side, serious side, dominant side, a witty side, etc.

· Being overly nice. Being a nice guy isn’t necessarily a bad thing at all. But when you seem overly nice and supplicating, it can come off as if you are just trying to please her. Don’t try to accommodate every- thing for her and don’t be apologetic or seeking her approval. Be a man and a leader and have your own thing going for you.

WHEN AND HOW OFTEN TO TEXT

You don’t want to start over thinking about when and how often you should text because you will just stress yourself out. As a general idea, don’t always text back in the exact same duration. Sometimes text back right away, sometimes wait 10 minutes, sometimes wait a day and sometimes don’t text her back at all. You should have other things go- ing on in your life besides texting her. The more numbers you get and the more you text, the more you will get a better feeling for the balance. As a general note, don’t text women between the hours of 8pm—1am on Friday and Saturday because it will make you appear as if you don’t

have anything better to do no the weekend. The first text you send a woman you’ve just met should be within 24hrs of meeting her. If you wait longer than 24hrs, the attraction she felt for you in the initial inter- action may begin to diminish.

**The following text messages are examples of what to say. You are welcome to use them word for word but it is better to come up with your own material so that it’s congruent with your own personality. Also, if too many guys out there use these text messages and a woman receives the exact same text from multiple guys, it will actually lower your value.

FIRST TEXT OPENERS
These are meant to be sent within 24hrs of meeting her.

Hey cutie so random meeting you just now….are you always so friendly to strangers?
Note: This came from Adam Lyons and works great for women you meet during the day. Make sure to text this within 10 minutes of meet- ing her.

After you get her number say “I’m gonna text you something naughty” and then 5 minutes later text “something naughty” ;)
Note: This works great for women you meet at bars and clubs or women that appear more sexually adventurous.

Are you textually active?

Are you textually active?….bc I’m thinking about making you my new text partner haha
Note: Use only if you’ve already set a sexual frame.

Do you speak text?

Hey it’s [your name] I’ve decided to make you my new texting buddy…. congrats ;)

I have a confession or I have a secret…
Note: Can follow up with you kind of impressed me tonight or you’re kinda cute...but don’t get any ideas :)

SAME NIGHT YOU MEET HER

These are used for texting a women the same night you met her (i.e. after you leave the bar or club). The idea is that she may not have been able to go home with you that night because she was there with her friends, but now she’s home by herself and can come over without judgment from her friends. Use these to reinitiate the communication and then see if she wants to meet up.

Sweet dreams, cutie. :-) [Your name] Note: Use this only if you had a more in- timate conversation which built comfort

Hope you got home safe. [Your name]
Note: This is more generic and won’t set

you apart. But I included it as an option because it does work to initiate conversation.

So bottom line you kinda impressed me tonight...and I don't get im- pressed very often. Keep up the good work ;)
Note: This is a push pull that shows that you probably have a lot of women in your life

Milk shakes at 2am rock!
Note: Credit Zar and Hydro from Casanova Crew. This works great be- cause it is non needy and everyone loves milkshakes. A typically re- sponse may be I love milkshakes! And you could follow up with some- thing like come get one….just don’t try anything on me :p

RANDOM TEXT OPENERS

These can be used as a first text openers or as random text messages that you send at any time.

How's my favorite little brat doing?
Note: Teasing nicknames like “brat”, “punk”, “playa”, “flaya” (female- playa), “nerd”, “geek” are great because they are fun and create a con- nection because people that have nicknames for each other are typically very close.

How’s my 3rd favorite little brat doing?
Note: This shows you must have a lot of women in your life

I just made you open your phone for no reason...looks like I got you in

check =p

Hey, nerd, I just saw the funniest X and thought of you
Note: X = pit-bull, show, movie, etc. The idea is that X is call back hu- mor from your initial interaction.

Its me, your cell that is, not wanting anything in particular right now, just wanted to get out of your pocket, it stinks down there :p
Note: Use it only if she has a good sense of humor

I hope you are smiling. If not just think of me!

If you're not smiling, then you're not thinking of me.
Note: These are slightly cocky so it’s a good idea to use an emoticon at the end

=P me sticking my tongue out at you Smile if you masturbate
Smile if you masturbate…..I see you smiling :)
Note: Use these with caution but if she’s a very sexual girl with a good sense of humor she will response positive.

What sort of trouble are you causing?
Note: Great way of finding out what she is doing at the moment, or that night, or that weekend. A lot better than just asking “what are you do- ing”

Hey evil little temptress…
Note: This is a great nickname that switches the roll of her being the ag- gressor instead of the guy. You can say whatever you want after the “…..” such as what kind of trouble are you causing tonight?

COCKY FUNNY

These are great random text messages that can be used at any time. Women know that guys that are cocky are usually confident. However cockiness alone can come off as arrogant and rude and most women don’t want this type of guy. When you mix humor with a touch of cockiness then the woman won’t know if you are serious or joking and the effect is typically very positive.

Hey! My friend just called me and said he saw a goofball running down the street in her shit stained
underwear. Call me if you need a ride ;)

I heard on the news someone checked into the pysch ward wearing only a thong and riding a goat. I'll come & get u.... BUT THIS SHIT HAS 2 STOP!!!!

So I felt you should know the snapple fact of the day....Your

eye expands up to 45% when looking at something pleasing. Now I know why you are all bug eyed when I'm around!

I'm having the worst day... I've already lost 4 retards. I lost 2 at Chuck- E-Cheese... one at the Wal-Mart...Where the hell are you!?"

Hey…do me a favor and text me right back. Just hi or something.
Wait for her response then text her: My friends don’t believe retards can text. We sure did show’em lil buddy lol
Note: She has to know you have a very playful personality or it could come off as mean.

What are you doing……besides missing me and doodling hearts on a piece of paper? ;)
Note: This can bring her back to when she was a little girl and had her first crush and used to draw hearts on her notebook
I know you're thinking about me. So I thought I would say hi! OMG this guy is so hot check it out….facebook.com/(yourname) So are you in love with me yet?
Follow up with: Wow your lasting longer than I thought, give it a few
more minutes :)

Congratulations!
Note: She’ll respond, then follow up with: I was just thinking of you. Congratulations =)

Today is HOLY SHIT YOUR HOT DAY, send this to someone you know

who is HOT, just not to me, I’ve been getting this text all day

BAIT AND SWITCH

I call this a bait and switch because you are baiting her to think you are totally into her and then you switch to being cocky funny.

Maybe it’s the booze talking, but I want you to know……I love……... booze.
Note: You can use this the same night you meet her if it was at a bar or club.

Those inocent eyes, those jucy lips, a great smile, that awesome bod, so hot! But enough about me, what r u up to?

Hey! I really miss you and want to see you badly BUT this dumbass se- curity guard won't let me in the zoo. Can you escape?

ROLL REVERSAL

These texts reverse the typical courting frame that the guy is chasing af- ter the girl. Women will usually respond positively to these because it is the opposite of what they’re used to and will often go along with the role reversal.

I just don't think we should do this anymore...Sometimes you make me feel like I am just a piece of meat.

Ewww stop thinking about me, i can feel your thoughts all over me... pervert!

Hey sex ninja, orgy starts at 10:00, be there early so you can get me while I’m still fresh After she responds follow up with: Guess you’ll have to settle with what you can get then :p

I am way to high maintenance for you
Note: Send this after she’s sent you something ball busting.

Her: Guess What!
You: You want to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me? You are so naughty :p

PUSH-PULL

Push-pull is one of your best tools when it comes to women and dating. The concept is simple. If you push too much and are too aloof you will usually push her away to the point that she’ll loose interest. If you pull her in too much by too many compliments or telling her you like her then she’ll loose interest because you aren’t a challenge. When you put the two together you can maintain a good balance of showing interest and being a challenge.

Out of all the [her name] I know... I think you’re my favorite.
Note: Also shows that you have a lot of women in your life.

You just popped into my head so Hi...now please stay out of there

Hey I was just thinking about you, wish you were here…..so you could cook me something and do my dishes :p

Hey I was just thinking about you, wish you were here………so you could fetch me a drink and give me a foot massage ;)

You just popped into my head….you must be using some weird ninja magic on me….I’m onto it….but I’m not gonna let it slide.

ROLE PLAYING

Women love role playing because it’s fun and it’ll make you stand out from other guys. Most of the time women will respond back by role playing with you.

I’m bored….lets go to Vegas and get married by the fattest Elvis imper- sonator we can find

Hey I decided where we are going to eat tonight, start looking for a strip club that sells food and has amateur night, your gonna win us some grub!

Let's fly to Las Vegas, get married, argue about our third kid's name, di-

vorce, and grow old lonely and depressed

You’re my new text message girlfriend for the next 5 minutes.
In 5 minutes send: Aww now we’re broken up. Its not you its me. Was fun though.
In 5 more minutes send: Aww now I kinda miss you. I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back.

Hey I’ve been thinking.....want to rob a bank with me?
Follup up with: Seriously, I need a partner, are you driving or shoot- ing?

Brr….it’s cold here…..think its warm in the Bahamas?
Note: This leads into a vacation role play. You can follow up with something like: Ok pack your bags, I’ll pick you up in an hour. Just don’t bring your damn hairdryer this time :p

GAMES

Women love playing games. This will show you have a fun playful side.

I’m winning (attach a random picture)
She might ask "What is that?” or “Winning at what?"
You respond with: The random phone picture game (and send another random picture)
Note: Ideas for random pictures include Chuck Norris, sumo wrestlers, hamster wearing a santa hat, fat guy riding a scooter, well you get the

idea.

RANDOM

These are just more fun random text messages that make you appear like a very random guy. Being random is a good quality because it is the exact opposite of being boring and predictable.
Snapple Fact: A one-minute kiss burns 26 calories. I make Mondays feel like Fridays
Note: This is also slightly cocky funny

I've got this problem I need your help with it.…..why was the energizer bunny arrested?"
Note: The Answer is “he was charged with battery”. Almost any joke will do.

192y - (62*84) = 12x + 45y solve for x and then graph
Note: She’ll be confused but its best not to explain or even reply

Did you know a blue whale’s tongue weighs as much as an elephant!?… gotta love animal planet ;)

If you came home to find someone's sex toys on your sofa how are you supposed to react?

You know what I hate? When you're minding your own business then...

BAM! You’re being attacked by flying monkeys.
She’ll respond with something like “I didn't know monkeys could fly” or “What are you talking about”
Follow up with: That’s what makes it so hateful. I'm never expecting it. Or I knew it! You're one of those flying mon- key lovers, aren't you?

6 truths in your life: 1. You can't lick all your teeth with your tongue. 2. You're an idiot, because you just tried to proof truth number one. 3. Truth one is a lie.

  1. Now you're smiling, because you're a goof. 5. You'll send it to an- other idiot in the near future. 6. You're still smiling
    ;-)

NEGATION

The basic concept of telling someone they can’t have something so they’ll want it more. We all tend to want what we can’t have. It is very important to use emoticons and “lol” or “haha” so women don’t think that you don’t like them.

I could never hang with you haha…you’re trouble ;)

Ok meet me at the bar…..but don’t try anything on me :p
Note: This is also a role reversal.

Promise you won’t try to take advantage of me when we hang out!

QUALIFICATION

Qualification questions are questions that show that you are testing her to see if she meets your standards. Qualification through texting is best done in a playful way. When you qualify a woman it shows her that you are high value because only a high value man with a lot of women in his life would screen, qualify and test a beautiful woman.

Make it or break it question………….X?
X = any question you want to ask like favorite music? It can also be something more playful such as chocolate or va-
nilla? or ninjas or pirates?
Note: Creates the frame that you a screening her. “This or that” type questions are great because they are easy for women to answer.

Are you good at back/foot rubs?

Which do you prefer, pillow fights or bedtime stories?

Cheetos or smores?
Note: Any random “this” or “that” question will work

FLIRTY

Showing your interest in her in a fun way. Be warned, if you do this too early and haven’t built up enough attraction it can backfire.

You: You smell...
Her: Delicious (or something similar)
You: Wow, it's like we even finish each other's sentences.

You make me feel like a pudgy, naked, winged child has shot an arrow into my chest cavity
Note: Works great around Valentines Day.
Something about u seems to always make me smile Thinking of you. (and taking cold showers) =D
Note: Great for if she asks “what are you doing”

I just wanted to start your week off on a high note by saying hi…so without further ado...hi!

GETTING HER TO TALK ON THE PHONE

Use these to transition from texting to talking on the phone. Talking on the phone usually builds more comfort and attraction (if done correctly) and its usually easier to set up a first date.
This texting thing is giving me carpel tunnel ... call me Where are you? I have a top secret mission for you!
Then text: This super hot guy is going to call you….you must pick up
for further instructions!
Note: If she doesn’t pick up the phone when you call her, you can text back with Abort mission!

I think you have a confession to make... call me if you wanna know what it is Note: When she calls and asks what the confession is, say “I got out of the shower and saw you peeping through my window trying to sneak a peak you perv!” Make sure to say this in a very playful manner.

I’m gonna be busy for the next 10 min so I’ll have my assistant Fritz call you
Then call her in a gay German accent and it will crack her up.

GOING FOR A DATE

Although it is usually best to set up a date with a women while talking on the phone, often times you can set up a date strictly through text.
This works especially well for women you have a hard time actually getting on the phone to have a conversation. In these days, some women hardly ever talk to men on the phone, they strictly use texting as their primary source of communication. Always make specific plans with her and assume compliance (“great I’ll pick you up at 9”).

If we don't hang out soon then I'm going to start cheating on you
Note: Works great after a marriage role play

We are going to be at X bar, you and your friends should stop by
Note: X = name of the bar or club
Party @ friends house sat. B cool come with me Sat. Party. Me. B there or B []
Note: This is short and too the point which shows dominance and confi- dence. [] = square.

I’ll have my interns pencil you in for next week
Note: Can sent this if either you or her are busy this week.

Where are you? I have a top secret mission for you!

Hey herd (hot-nerd), we are going to be at X bar Friday night. Your mission if you choose to accept it is to show up between the hours of

11pm and 2am. This message will self destruct in 30 sec!!! See you there…
Note: X = name of the bar or club

You: Tomorrow’s gonna be the best night of your life.
She’ll ask “why?”
Me: Because I’m gonna let you hang out with me! :p
Note: or Because we’re gonna hang out! :p

I've thought about it long and hard. I've decided to shave my head and be a monk in a monastery. Saturday is my last day of freedom. Lets meet up before then

Hey goofball! X bar Friday night! Be there or we are breaking up and I'm not taking you back this time……I'm signing the divorce papers and fighting for full custody
Note: X = name of the bar or club. Works great after a marriage role play.

Your loss princess...epic night... I'm busy all next week :p
Note: Send something like this after you call and she doesn’t pick up.

I need some female attention…come over! Note: Works best if you’ve already slept with her or are very close to the point of sleeping with her.

Ok, I got something going on Saturday, would you like to a company me? If not you got a sister? Hahahaha
Note: Slightly cocky funny.

You have to get your ass over here! It’s CRAZY!
Note: If you’re at a fun event.

“Red or white wine?”
Note: This is a question that can transition into asking her out.

TURNING THINGS SEXUAL

If you want to turn things sexual, it is best done in a funny playful way. This shows that you are a sexual person and its usually easier to transi- tion to sex during the first date if she already knows you are a sexual man. Be careful because you don’t want to come off as a pervert. Re- member, she can’t hear the way you are intending to say it.

Today is f.u.c.k day (friends you can keep). I just fucked you! You know you liked it! So f.u.c.k. whomever you want. You better f.u.c.k. me back! lol

You: WHAT THE HELL?
Her: Huhh??
You: You told your friends that you just wanted to bang my brains out and use me for sex.. tsk tsk.. I thought you were different :p
Note: This is also a role reversal.

Hey Ive been thinking were going to need a safe word... and it shouldn’t be ‘more’
Note: Best if you are doing some sort of role play such as marriage or overly romantic.

Don't get too horny without me :P
Note: Best if used after you’ve slept with her or are very close to sleep- ing with her.

Come over to myspace and I’ll twitter my yahoo and google all over your facebook
Credit: Boogie

I can still feel u :)
Note: Use within a few hours after you’ve slept with her

RESPONDING TO CONGRUENCY TEST (aka shit tests)

Women will sometimes test you to see if you will respond positively or
will be all butt hurt. The idea here is to be unaffected. Examples of shit tests are you must be gay, I have a bf, I want you to take me somewhere really nice, etc.
Responses to shit tests:

lol…you’re cracking me up right now

You are too adorable….what are we gonna do with you?

I don't know who you're boyfriend is...but he's not spanking you enough!

Two billion years of evolution and that’s the best you can come up with? Well your still my favorite little brat……well your at least in the top 5 That’s minus 2 cool points :p

IF SHE DOESN’T ANSWER BACK

General rule is to wait a day then text her again. If she doesn’t respond to that, wait two days then try again. If still no response, wait three days. And so forth.

Sorry forgot to get back to you I was X
Note: X=something high value, something fun, or something hilarious. This text shows that you are not mad that she didn’t respond, and in- stead you switching the frame that you are the one that forgot to text back.

You failed the text message reflex test
Credit: Sinn

You are the worst texter back ever I’m putting you on text probation
Credit: Sinn

FLAKES

It’s no surprise that women will sometimes flake on men. Sometimes they are just testing to see if you are going to freak out and get mad. You want to be a guy that has many options and if a girl flakes on you its no big deal.

No biggie, thanks for letting me know. I can take someone else.
Note: This shows that you are unaffected and have other options.

No biggie, I’ll wait to see how you make it up to me before I pass judg- ment. :p
Note: Be careful because this could come off as too harsh.

That’s minus 5 cool points :p

BONUS #1: ANSWERING HER QUESTIONS

You don’t always want to give a serious answer to questions she might ask. At the same time you don’t always want to give a funny answer or she’ll never take you seriously. Mix up humor with seriousness.

Her: What are you up to tonight?
You: Tonight's my weekly melted haagen-dazs bath!
Note: Use a fake response like this if you cannot actually meet up with her. If she’s asking you “what are you up to?” then she most likely wants to hang out with you.

Her: What are you doing tonight
You: Well…..I moonlight as an exotic dancer ;)
Note: You can use any funny job such as lighter repair technician, lion tamer, astronaut cowboy millionaire, etc.

Her: So what do you do for a living?
You: Well…..I’m an ass model…..so don’t you try to grab it ;)

Her: Who is this?
You: YourName…..You know….Prince Charming….here to pick you up on my trusty white steed m’lady
Note:
YourName = Your actual name. Just want to be clear here.

Her: Who is this?
You: YourName…..the man of your dreams…duh

Her: Are you on facebook?
You: Yeah...but if I add you promise not to become a fb stalker? Pinky swear?
Note: This communicates that you are a challenge and that you aren’t going to give thing to her too easily.

Her: What have you been up too?
You: Good just busy fighting evil terrorists and rescuing orphans from burning buildings, ya know the usual
Note: Use any absurd activity or far fetched adventure.

Her: Do I know you?
You: Actually I have no idea how we know each other, I sent that mes- sage out to a few friends and accidentally added you too it, lol. Still, you must be cool if I've got you in my phone so what's your answer?

Her: Do I know you?
You: I think we met a while back and you wanted to take me to coffee but I never got back to you because I've been up to my eyeballs in work. I seem to remember you seemed pretty cool.

Here: How are you?
You: in bed?….jeez you’re forward! :p
Note: This is also a role reversal

BONUS #2: NUMBERS THAT HAVE GONE COLD

It’s a good idea to keep every number that you get because you can al- ways try to reinitiate the contact in the future. These text are used as a last ditch effort for numbers where the communication died or the woman hasn’t been responding.

Hey, just been sorting out my phonebook and found out I have three (HER NAME)’s, which one are you......the crazy one, the hot one, or the shy suggestive one?
Note: This shows that you have a lot of women in your life.

I just met your twin!
Note: Works great because women are very competitive.

Yeah its big
Note: This is meant to seem like you sent a text to the wrong woman.

Hey [wrong name] come over the key is in the normal spot, just wake me up when you get here ;)
Note: This is meant to seem like you sent a text to the wrong woman. Use between 12am – 3am because that’s the booty call time. This will show that you have women in your life and are sexually desirable.

Hey I found your shirt that you left here.
Note: Use during the day or morning and is meant to seem like you sent a text to the wrong woman.

You were in my dream last night….weird

OMG, just saw the craziest thing... totally reminded me of you! Wanted to touch base in case you got rich
Did I just see you??

OMG I've just come home to my house to discover an infestation of smurf's. What should I do?
Note: Anything super random will work.

CONCLUSION
Now it’s time for you to get out there and get as many numbers as you possibly can. They only way to get really good at “Text Game” is prac- tice. Remember these are just guidelines and examples to get you started.

I want you to take a lot of liberties. You might loose a couple of pros- pects along your journey, but remember you have to break some eggs to make an omelet. Don’t be discouraged if you send a text from this guide and you get no response or a negative response. It might just be her mood. Or it might be that the text wasn’t sent in the right situation. Or it might be the text isn’t congruent with your personality. Don’t worry about it. Just keep practicing and you will be a text master in no time!
I wish you the best, Artisan

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