How to Resign Dignifully
When it comes to quitting a job, there are two categories of people: the ones that can't wait to do it and the ones that dread the moment of giving this news to their manager. Personally, I think I fit in the later category as I always found it hard to give up a job, no matter how shitty it was. It's not like I had great respect or admiration for all my previous bosses so that I found it hard to leave their company, I mostly pitied my colleagues for remaining there and I felt sorry for parting with them. However, each time I gave up on a job (and I did this quite often in comparison with most people I know, I blame my freelance spirit for this :) ), I learned new things about how to handle the though moment of resigning.
Here are my tips on how to resign dignifully no matter how much or how little time you've spend on it.
- Always choose the right moment to do it.
In most cases, you'd be working in an environment where you are surrounded by colleagues and where you actually get the chance to talk to your boss face to face. If this is the case, choose the moment when you want to give him the big news wisely. Don't go telling him you quit when he's angry about a difficult customer and just finished scolding one of your colleagues or when he's stressed because he's about to get into a meeting.
If you have a remote job like me, it's trickier as you can't anticipate what your boss is doing by the time you want to talk. Therefore, you should prepare him/her by leaving them a message in which announce that you have important news or you need to discuss about a serious matter. In 80% of the cases, your boss will already sense what's about to happen.
Why is the moment important? Because how long, heated or frustrating your conversation with your boss will be, depends on it. If you don't want to tease an angry bull and face the consequences, you'd better think twice about when it's better to have THE talk.
- Focus on logical arguments, not emotions
It's always hard to break up with someone and, when you quit your job, you are doing this. Just like dumping a partner you no longer love, there is always at least a bit of compassion left that makes you feel bad about yourself for what you are doing. And if your boss is a manipulative person or feels betrayed, they might pull every emotional string possible to make you feel bad about your decision. How do you combat this? With logical arguments such as:
- I think it's time I did something else
- I want to start afresh in a new domain
- I feel I had no more growth possibilities in this job
- I liked what I did, but I can't refuse such a good offer, nobody would
All these arguments will put an end to any attempt to convince you by ways of emotional manipulation that your place is in that company and that you should not leave.
- Be professional, even if the other person isn't
When a manager looses an employee, especially a valuable team player, it's a matter of months before he can find someone who can replace that person, or even years. All this process means money and it puts pressure on him and the rest of the team. It is normal for your boss to feel angry because you are giving him a hard time by leaving your job. However, this does not entitle him to start raising his voice, let alone insult you. If your boss does this, don't respond in a similar manner. Keep your cool, be polite and professional. Listen to what he has to say, but remind him that it is your legal right to resign and he has to comply with your decision.
- Don't feel sorry about what you are doing
The feeling of regret give raise to remorse and only bad consequences can come out of this. Sometimes, the feeling of remorse might be so strong that it even persuades you to give up your plan and stick around in that company for more time. The thing is that if you already though about quitting, that job is clearly not for you. So, there is no reason you should not venture towards greener pastures.
Your job is not your life, it's just what you do to earn a living. Don't think that the company won't survive without you. Everyone is replaceable in the end.
These are my thoughts about job-quitting. Where do you stand? Have you ever found it difficult to quit a job?
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It is quite a rollercoaster. Especially if you have been in a place for a long time. In my case, for example, it was ten years with the same company. There is no doubt in my mind that after such a long time I have developed the "Shawshank Redemption" syndrome. All kinds of thoughts come to mind. Fillings of fear, doubt and anxiety. All part of a journey. I have quit my job 3 months ago to explore self-employment.
I am not gonna sugar coat. The first few weeks were hectic as hell. So many things to organize so many things that I didn't have to deal with before. It is very easy to get overwhelmed. What you have to keep in mind is that eventually, the dust will settle. Take it a day at the time, a step at the time and before you know it all these new things will start to look familiar, almost effortless.
Still, I would say learning new skills and adapting new behavioral habits is the least of your worries. The mind games that will be played in your current workplace are probably the most difficult to deal with. Most people will not look kindly on you trying to move to do better for yourself.
Especially, if they have relied on you heavily. I don't think it has anything to do with jealousy. It simply means that they would have to adapt to this new situation as well and change doesn't come easy. On the bright side, you will learn who your real friends are. Those will be the people who will keep in touch long after you left.
As a final thought and perhaps a bit of advice I would say this. If you are thinking about it several times a day nearly every day it means it is time.
Otherwise, your mind wouldn't be preoccupied with these kinds of thoughts. Build a bit of financial buffer. Save if you can, an equivalent of there to four months worth of your bills on go for it.
Perhaps Warren Buffet said it best: I think you are out of your mind if you keep taking jobs that you don't like because you think it will look good on your resume. Isn't that a little like saving up sex for your old age?
thanks for comment, love the quote :)