Magical moments in life are rare -- I had one tonight. THE CIRCLE OF LIFE IS VERY REAL.
Kids act like kids, parents are parents. Until one day, you become a parent or old enough to know both..
I'm going to write this post from the heart, unhindered, for those few who read my posts and do that to really get an inside look of what @intelliguy is feeling or doing..
In general, it is quite normal to have parents, who scold, direct, or explain the ways of life to you, from an experienced perspective, to save you from making similar mistakes.
They'll tell you things like:
- Don't do that
- Don't do this
- That is a bad idea
- That is a good idea
...and as children of our parents, we always want to prove we can. We have ambition growing up. We want to be better and do more than our parents ever did.
..our parents love ambition from their kids too. They want to see them succeed. They want to see their kids evolve into something new and special and go further than they ever did as well...
...and in some strange way during this development cycle, quite often a disconnect builds. It is not intentional, but there is a gap where what the parents want for their kids, and what the kids through proving their independence and path and life and goals happen.... Parents and kids at a certain age seem to be like a hardfork where they go their own ways temporarily.
..which is part of the cycle of life...
..until..
The kids soon grow older and realize, doing it on your own, without some help or guidance isn't easy... and the help that was offered to you by your parents is actually quite valuable.
But you had to try it yourself as a kid. You had to prove yourself not to your parents, but to yourself... You had to run as far and as hard you could into life circumstances on your own to see how well you could do..
...and then 2 things happen...
You start to get older, more mature, and age, and go through the same ages and stages of life that your parents did
You start to yearn for sharing your life experiences with your parents to get their validation and opinion of how well you are doing... and talk to them more indepth about what they went through.
THIS IS WHERE IT HITS HARD
...and then one day, you realize, 30 years has passed. You start to realize you are just now understanding your parents in a different light. You hear about their own experiences and trials and tribulations as they lived life the best they could..
...and that is that WAKE UP moment, where you realize..
Your parents tried their hand at life, just like you - they had ambitions, they had parents of their own. They were kids at one point, and they did what they could to succeed at life and see how far they could get too...
The difference between the wants, needs, and ambitions of your parents are almost exactly the same as yours in most cases. The only difference is the year they were born and the generation they were from.
I had one of those magical moments talking to my father tonight ... which I will remember and treasure for the rest of my life... I was no longer his kid. He was no longer my father.
It was just two men -- talking about life, on equal terms. Something I never expected to ever have with him, and it did happen.
I wish and hope, that every kid out there, whether you are female or male, have an opportunity to talk one-on-one with a parent where you can have a similar discussion without yielding to the roles of parent vs kid. :)
I know exactly what you mean. One day it dawned on me that my parents were actually just two people doing the best they could, who had gone through all the same problems with life that I was now experiencing.
Unfortunately, by that time my mother was dead and my father, a lifelong alcoholic, had Alzheimers. I deeply regret never having had the opportunity to tell them that I understood.
Some kinds never realize which you already did. Even if you never told them, I believe those that pass watch us from above at times and know. There is a different level of consciousness that we may not understand that could really exist in that regard. I am glad you wrote, there are many other people like yourself and that can happen innocently to anyone.
My father died just over a year ago, mere weeks before his 81st birthday. He had decided he was dying for a few years before he actually did. During this time, he made a concerted effort to connect with each of his seven children to ensure there was nothing left unsaid between him and them. Therefore, when he passed away quite suddenly, none of us had any unfinished business and were at peace. Of course we missed him terribly and it took a while to sink in, but we remember him for his goodness of heart and his kind words and considered conversation. He had played a round of golf that morning, and even graced the bar, briefly, before driving my mother to a function. On the way back, he had pulled off the road and suffered a massive stroke, which is where he was found several hours later. He died that night in hospital. I miss my dad precisely because he was a good man. He had left school at 11. He worked on the Snowy Mountain Scheme and on the Peak Downs railway. He was part of a crew that built the pylons that upheld the bridges on the Namoi River at Narrabri. He came to Australia in his early 20s. In fact, he was named as the best player who ever played hurling in Australia in 100 years of the GAA in Australia, published in 1984. Everything he did, he did wholeheartedly.
Wow, that's a life of accomplishments. He was a very busy man, and left a lot of good things behind. Now he may rest. Thank you for sharing.
If we are well remembered by our descendants, then we never really die :)
Your Thinking is very deep, its hardly thinking, really i feeling proud after Reading Your article.
Wow @intelliguy you make awesome article, really we are no longer theirs kids and theirs no longer our father.
it is lifes rule to get older