Holding grudges is something I strive NOT to do... How about you?

in life •  3 months ago

People go through life cycles. They grow and improve!

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I've met some people that have unconditional admiration for me, and I have the same for them.

Those are type of people, myself included, that if you say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing... its easy to look past it, and see the person as a larger picture than any small situation.

If the way someone acts, is 80% of the time in sync with me... that's huge. I can quite easily look past the 20% I don't like.

...then there are other people that do the opposite...

They might like 80% of a person, but that 20% they just can't get past... and the hold them accountable for that 20%.

...as an example...

Someone might say "I really liked that person until they said this ... and now, after that, I hold them at arms length and will never deal with them anymore."

Or someone might say... overall I don't mind that person... except for I notice they do this, or say that... and now that I see that is part of their behavior, I'm writing them off... for life...

Really?

You could ask the person with that narrow mindset...

  • "Did you ever talk to the person about your concerns?"

  • The answer is quite often "no".

How do you expect people to grow and improve, if you let them flounder around aimlessly without letting them know something they are doing is viewed negatively.

I consider myself pretty easy going. That means... I like to have a laid back approach to people.. and I am willing to talk or socialize with almost anyone, at any time.

If today you're having a bad day... or a little annoyed and upset. That's okay, I won't hold it against you.

I'll just figure you're having an off day, and I'll talk to you again next week. :)

Sometimes I get a feeling that there is an odd silence. People just seem to clam up... be a little standoffish either because something triggered them directly, or they heard from someone else to avoid that person.

The reason I'm writing about this today..

.
....is an old friend called, who moved away long ago. They called to see how things were doing and catch up. One of the things they said was "you know, out of everyone in that neighborhood, you were one of the few that was good to me... even during my hardest moments... I got my life sorted out now, and I just wanted to say thank you."

...I was surprised when they said that... but I understood why they said it.

Being easy going with people in your circles and striving to not hold grudges for the past is important. You never know how people will grow and evolve over time, and the person you met 5 years ago might just be going through a life cycle of some sort... don't lose friends unnecessarily.

With that being said...

Cheers everyone. Enjoy the rest of your day/night. :)

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Wise words. A friend is always a friend whatever will happen.
Have a good night