The Art of Self-Compassion: Why Being Kind to Yourself Matters
Why self-compassion is more effective than empathy when dealing with life's stressors. When dealing with the everyday challenges of living life, we don't have the luxury of being empathetic with others. We are, however, very capable of feeling compassion towards ourselves when things go wrong.
There is a difference between empathy and self-compassion. When someone acts compassionate towards us, we see ourselves as worthy of love and kindness.
Self-compassion, on the other hand, focuses on how we treat ourselves when life is hard, when things don't go our way. It's when we are being kind to ourselves.
Self-compassion is important for two reasons. Firstly, because it gives us the strength to move forward even when things don't go our way. Secondly, because it helps us build resilience and become happier and healthier.
A recent study by the University of British Columbia found that people who are more self-compassionate were able to move past negative emotions faster and recover faster from the experience.
In another study, a team of researchers from the University of Oxford found that people who had more self-compassion also exhibited higher levels of happiness.
If you are looking to gain more happiness and build resilience, try incorporating a little self-compassion into your daily routine. Here are some ideas to try.
Start by reminding yourself that your feelings are normal and you are not alone. This is the first step of self-compassion.
Imagine that you are talking to a friend or family member who has dealt with the same situation.
Think about someone who has been through something similar and how they managed to get through it.
Remember that you are human and that it's ok to fail sometimes. Failure is an inevitable part of life.
Remind yourself that you are doing your best. There's no such thing as a perfect performance.
Consider all the positive aspects of your life and think about your strengths. Think about all the things you enjoy doing.
Remind yourself that you are worthy of love and acceptance.
Imagine yourself sitting at a bar enjoying a glass of wine, listening to music, or taking a walk. What would that be like?
Remember that you are in control of your emotions. There is no one else who can force you to feel differently.
Remind yourself that you deserve to be happy. If you are having a bad day, remind yourself that you deserve to feel better.
Take the time to appreciate your life and the opportunities you have.
If you'd like to learn more, here are a couple of books I've enjoyed.
The Compassionate Mind by Dr. Sara Wyer - This book teaches readers how to use mindfulness to develop self-compassion.
The Happiness Trap by Gretchen Rubin - Gretchen's latest book looks at how we use habits and rituals to keep ourselves happy.