FANS WHO HAD SUICIDE THOUGHTS AND GOT EXTRMELY HARD DEPRESSION FOR ABOUT 4-5 YEARS REACTS TO CHESTER BENNINGTON'S DIE !

in #life7 years ago

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As someone who had suicide thoughts and got extremly hard depression for about 4-5 years I can kinda relate to Chester. If someone writes that he got killed because he was junkie or alcoholic than this person is an idiot. You don't need drugs or any kind of addiction to commit suicide or have suicide thoughts at least. It's much more complicated. 

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In my case it was related to my personal and family problems... also I was very sensitive about many things and aspects of life. I was just pretending to be happy and tough, but for about 5 years I couldn't sleep and I was crying almost every night when nobody was watching because of one thing that happend in my life... I was even starting to cry in public places in the middle of the day for no reason a few times.

https://steemitimages.com/DQmSuFpZ77TyeC175kkAXTAjwBnEfzJ4Wy41YpW7xcn9Qbb/images%20(6).jpg

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 I reached a point where my mind pain become a physical pain - stomach pain, headaches, no sleep, body was exhausted and I could feel a pain in my chest every time I was crying. I had nightmares once every few days, regularly.  After 2-3 years of that I started taking hard drugs (not very often though) and they gave me half of the relief -  so I can relate to Chester at this point also.

 I was taking them for about 1 year. That's how depression effects people! Now I feel much better but it took me 5 years... 5 fucking years to say "good bye" to my depression but it may return in the future and I'm still a sensitive person who is getting nervous very eaisly in every day situations.

https://steemitimages.com/DQma3kZvkhyHwaqtxZmBa256N19RAkemjRcaW93mYsNRKCK/images%20(7).jpg

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It effected my body also so I have some health issues - I know that they are not caused by drugs because they started right before that. This depression was like a biological reflex - I couldn't stop it inspite of trying not to think about my problems. It was impossible to stop it right away and only time healed my wounds. Fucking scumbags who say that "he was a junkie so who cares, and he was weak anyway" don't deserve to be treated nicely because they are not human beings if they don't even try to understand other person's feelings. 

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They can't understand that every mind (brain) functions very differently. These kind of problems also depends on our childhood very much - I know that from my personal experience. It effected not only my mind but my body also. Chester had a very traumatic childhood if you don't know that. So fuck of you heartless haters! * Rest In Peace Chester! I love you! 

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