.....Brokenness_To_Recover (A sequel to My_Anger_with _Hurt)

(...continuation to the previous)

Let me be broken by the hurts ,I'm not sure I knew what I was talking about.
Do you understand what it means to be broken?
Do you know what hurt is? I guess we all just know the definitions in our sensory nerves.

I unlocked the cage!!! I opened it wide! I freed the hurts. But I felt Nothing!
Wait? Wasn't I supposed to cry out loud scream, weep and probably throw myself to the ground?
Let's be broken! I'm ready to be broken. I've forgotten how to react to pain.im not sure I was hurt after all.
Or maybe I'm just a hurt-proof on its own and not just allergies..

But then if no hurt exists, I swear I knew it when people were hurt.come on , it's not as if I knew because I knew .but because I have a blurred memory of it.
Let us move on with life and Thank God "everything is fine"

I've confessed the things that make me sad.
Those that weren't pleasant to me, thinking that will do the magic.
How do you know it when you are hurt? I know , I remember I was hurt.i know I froze it and moved on. I guess freeing hurts from cage meant nothing after all. It didn't make no difference it didn't break me.
I'm confident enough to voice out "i want to be broken'" tell me who does that?
I really think it's that beautiful and easy huh?
And thought as flexible imaginations are;it can affect my reality.

Okay let's wake up from slumber .
In real life, I just forgot to cry.
I just couldn't be weak . you know crying is for the babies.
I should look strong you know.
I have total control. Hah!! Only babies get hurt and go all emotional about it.
I'm my mama's pride and I can't afford to have her nurture a timid, weak ?sensitive emotional kid!

Yes! I loose if I feel pain
You win if I'm broken
And when I confess that I'm hurt and dissapointed, I'll be pitied .I'll be more pathetic than I already are.
Need I talk to someone,I'm afraid it will be taken lightly. Or perhaps, "you complain and worry your head too much " will be the order of the day.

So in reality, let's Assume "everything is fine" my cage,where everything is soo not fine.

So I wept the day I admitted
The day I confessed
The day I remembered
When I pulled away from the crowed
When I couldn't fake a smile
When I knew I was being weak
When everything reminded me of what I couldn't have
When day and night my tears had power over me.
I'd say " momy I'm sorry I really wanna be strong but No! I need this!
I missed this. .it's all I had to do.
Pour my soul out, confide ,to be pitied and to feel a little insecured .
Just to be broken.

Oneday, I woke up and I knew my care was back ! Yaay. Now they were just memories which became shields.
But to tell you the truth,Part of accepting to be broken and to accept the fact that u have been hurt before means learning to accept that You'll never FORGET .it's always up there.#pink.

(To be continued )...... I believe no matter how far you run away from your problems,it doesn't takeit away. .one must learn to face them..
By Karen