- "I made a face as if a man had just spunked on the toilet seat I wanted to sit on." Hmm, I think that's the first time I've seen you say I made a face as if: for what actually happened. Although I suppose this would fit right in to your usual array of (fictional) faces. See? " a face worthy of a cat eating prunes" right by the end.
- "Who shakes the pork tambourine in the toilet gym early in the morning?" I think that should be gym toilet, not toilet gym. Might want to fix that. Also: "Something slightly smeggy" Might want to change that to smelly. Stupid autocorrect.
- Apparently I am once again the only one to notice something important: Why exactly do you have baby wait to shave off? Someone's been having fun at the reader's expense. (For a second I thought you were continuing the "writing from someone else's perspective thing," this time from the good lady's.)
- I commiserate. I really do. But I'm not paying the fees for the psychologist to get over it.
Ah number 2, I fixed the toilet gym - thank you! I did however leave smeggy as it was intentional. It's a very British word. Similar to smeddom which generally implies a gentleman's issue :0)
And number 3, the baby weight, well, when the good lady popped out the little boom and we all were at peak no sleep it was a time of coffee and chocolate and anything else that could be used as a crutch to get by. I was being slightly mischievous in using it though!