Excepting Your Kid isn't PERFECT.

I grew up a gymnast since I was two, I was flipping down the mat. My mother didn't stop there she pushed me to be the best gymnast but never expected me to make a mistake. Failing just was not a choice.

As a mother I chose a different approach. As a child I would shake my head listening to my mother talk how perfect we were. As my mind flashes back to just a few hours before hand, being screamed at and be little. Something I learned was that she was more worried about the image of the family than what really was going on around her.

Did I want to be this parent that thought her child did no wrong and fighting for my child while they sit quietly letting you think they are as perfect as you want them to be. No, I didn't. I learned this was a false hood of parenting. A parent lying to themselves and teaching their child that image is more important than integrity.

So what did I do so different. First of all I am the first to ask where was my son and did he have anything to do with might had occurred, never once giving myself a false hope that my son could never do a thing like that. When in all reality any child pushed to a degree can do what you never thought they could it being sportive or negative action.

Every teenager lies in one way or another. Sitting there degrading them until you get the truth will cause my son to clam up it did me as a child. Instead I explain how important telling me the truth is and talk it out when the truth comes out. No yelling true discussion. The whys, the who's, the feelings during and after. The correct way to approach the matter the next time to avoid any miss happens the next.

The most important thing I have found is sit down and have them point out where they felt they learned their lesson. Turn their negative into a positive. It tends not to have repeats.

Keep your boundaries as a parent. Let your child throw the tantrum but you keep your foot down. Having to teach this and brake the bad habit of giving in from a tantrum takes long stressful strides to change. Finding this out personally was hard to swallow.

Treating your child as a person and a person allowed to make mistakes is huge. People ask me why my son tells me everything all the way down to details. Does he do it right away NO! It is a process of listening to him than stepping back seeing the whole picture. Become friends with their friends they share a lot.

I give it a day than re visit it if I feel or know he is lying. If you aren't in their face they don't clam up. If you give time to process they feel they are being listened to therefore when or if you have to come back and ask if they were speaking all of the truth they tend to open up.

Being a good parent in my heart is showing your child that you are NOT PERFECT! Let them see your mistakes and talk to them about what you have learned and what could be changed. Children are lead by example. Be able to admit your faults and work on changing them they see this they work at themselves.

Everyday strive for them to be better than they were yesterday. Do not compare them to a brother, sister, a friend of theirs or your friends children. They want to be their own person as bad as the next person. They have their own flaws and mistakes teach them how to deal with theirs and work on themselves.

Let them know making mistakes are okay but teach them the correct way of fixing those mistakes and learning from them.

I was that PERFECT daughter and I fell off the pedestal for my mother never to look back. Don't put your child on that pedestal they did not ask for it. They are as human as any of us.

Children do not come with handbooks. So I felt I would share. My son and I have a great relationship. This doesn't mean he doesn't try to get one over on his good old mom. Once they learn it is safe it seems they are open and honest at least with that you can guide them the correct way!