Does This Man Deserve The Middle Finger Salute?
Following from my recent post Never Have a Shit Day again, I thought it might be good to look at a few scenarios and take a look how our perspective can influence the outcome.
I will give a scenario and some different ways you could decide to respond to it and how each of them might end up.
Just remember
It only takes a decision to make your day good or bad
So today's scenario....
You are knackered, one of your children has had you up and down from bed all night because they have been sick.
You haven't had a chance to grab breakfast.
The babysitter was late in the morning and therefore you are running late for work and about to be plunged into rush hour traffic.
You are feeling stressed and hate being late for anything, especially today when a meeting has been called by your boss that you are totally unprepared for.
You feel like a total zombie, so you go through the Starbucks drive thru to get a humanizing cup of coffee,
You have to shout several times through the window to get your order heard and eventually are told the total is $4.03.
You drive up to the next window rummaging through your bag to find those elusive 3 cents so you don't have get a purse full of change.
The man behind you starts honking his horn at you. The first assumption is that he is being impatient.
It's one thing piled on another
What do you do?
Source: Pixabay.com
Get pissed off the guy, give him the middle finger. You are already having a rubbish day. You don't need this crap and it's not like you are taking that long.
So you take extra time finding the coins, pay and he is till honking his horn at you as you drive away.
As you drive to work you keep thinking and replaying the situation in your mind and how mad it made you. God, what a jerk that guy was!
Now you are even more stressed, he has made your rubbish day even worse.
You had a bad night and he has just made sure you have had a bad morning.
Now the whole day will be pants.
The guy behind is probably running late as well and here I am messing up not just my day, but everyone else's too. I should have just taken the damn change.
In this case you fill yourself up on the shoulds and make yourself feel worse and feel in the wrong.
You have had a bad morning and now you are messing up other people's days.
You drive to work feeling sad and melancholic.
You choose to think that the guy behind you is also having a bad day.
There could be something terribly hard going on in his life, you don't know what his story or circumstances are.
You find the coins, pay and forget about it as soon as you drive out of the parking lot.
You might make yourself feel better by thinking how blessed you are compared to the imaginary situation you place him in, or worse by thinking of all the injustice in the world, or you might feel absolutely zilch.
Of course, nearly anyone's knee jerk reaction to a honking man would be to get stressed, but today you decide to take a few deep breaths and breathe out that anxiety, pay and leave
You decide to sing on the way to work and put yourself in a good frame of mind
You actively take control of the situation and even calm yourself down by the time you get to work.
You feel better about the guy and so what if you are a little bit late.
Behind you the horn is getting pressed for longer and longer each time he presses it.
You remember that every situation contains a gift and as the honks his horn for an excruciating long time, you decide to meet this situation with love.
You find your coins, pay and ask the attendant how much the guys order is and pay it, or give $5 towards it.
On the way to work you think happily about how surprised he will be.
There he was honking his horn at you not being very nice and then when he sees you have paid for his order, he is going to be flabbergasted.
You might even have made his day into a happier one.
In fact, this is what you daydream about on the way to work.
You helped him, you had fun and you were creative and that puts you in a good mood and you are buzzing all the the way to work and for the rest of the day.
There are an infinite number of ways to respond to a situation, some will make you feel worse and others better and some make you and others feel better.
Now it's your turn...
What do you think some other reactions could be? How would you deal with this situation?
They can be positive, negative or whatever your mind comes up with.
There are no wrong answers.
Take a look at the @ecotrain passengers for a great group of people trying to make the world a better place.
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You come out of your car.
Knock on his window.
Tell him to come down
He thinks your spoiling for a fight.
You give him a hug.
He thinks you're bonkers or maybe he'll just be surprised and it'll be a perk to his already shitty day.
You've released your pent up stress and tension.
RESULT: UPWARD SPIRAL.
I hope.
Great post! One thing I have learned is that due to Fundamental Attribution Error, we often immediately assume the worst of the other party. That is why Option 5 is so great, because now you are looking at things from a different perspective and in turn, made EVERYONE happy, including yourself.
Nice one!
I couldn't bring myself to pay for the guys coffee so option 5 wouldn't be an option. However losing it in a situation like this is destructive and pointless.
Option 4 all the way babe.
Nice post @hopehuggs
Option 4 and 5 can be my option.
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STOPGreat read! and so true. this also links in with emotional intelligence,. which is something im writing about.. we change change our whole day and life in these small changes to our attitude!.. thank you!!
I needed to read this.
I am trying very hard to not react to some who enjoy pushing my buttons and realize that like my last post states...I need to push the off button more on my computer. It translates to real life, we face these issues and usually my response is the middle finger, it needs to morph into ignore and then maybe in time the pay it forward part. Right now though I would probably flick him off and tell him where to shove it but ..work in progress ;/
Option 4 and 5 are my go-to-options for all the times I feel stuck and encounter undesirable situations. Breathing the tension out and embracing it happily helps you find fixes to it and get moving :)