Dilemma|Stray SoulsteemCreated with Sketch.

in #life6 years ago (edited)

I should write in the best interest of my readers. Readers, who will then applaud me and would say wow to what I write and will examine the flow and the depth of my content but hey, stop. where is me then? Do I have to pretend always? Should I always pretend to be someone that I am not to please my readers? There will be a time when I want to express the real me and who I wanted to be! Do I have the courage to express real me? Does anyone of us have the courage to reveal real us, the real soul which breath inside us? I don't care about anybody but this is a fight in between me and myself. I have decided to try to reveal myself for once.

A kid: Fighting and struggling to grow old. Struggling hard to express to what I feel to my elders. Fighting hard for my toys. Fighting hard to tell everyone how important I should be to all of them. How important my needs are, And my needs consist of toys. A string and a kite. I fight hard for those Marbles. I fight hard to tell you that I need a bat. I fight hard for that fancy sketch pens and that fancy pencil box. I fight hard for my freedom to play. I keep fighting hard and
I don't know where i surpassed my childhood in all that struggle. I saw those days marching ahead with every passing second. I gave up. That is all I could do. At least that is what, was in my hands.

A boy:: I need some freedom. Not much but enough to hang out with my friends. I need a bike so that I could impress girls. I need a little freedom to roam around. I know you want me to study but trust me I am trying my level best but is it all you want me to do? I do not have any ambition for myself right now. All I am, is me. All Iam, is myself. I love everyone but I need everyone to understand me. I need everyone to support me in a way I want. I am bunking college, i know its bad but trust me it is not a big deal.I do not do drugs. I know whats bad and whats good. Just show some trust in me. I know that i will reach somewhere good one day. I have that trust in me. All i want from you is to support me in a way i want. I want you to let me expand my wings so that i could fly high in the sky but i feel that you have waxed my wings. I try hard to fly but I just could not. you gha=have waxed my wings. This wax is of your love, your care and your insecurities. You want me to become something but you are not giving me the liberty to be what i want to be. Time is close and i can see the glimpse of that shadow. Shadow of the person I can be. Shadow of the person i want to be. I know i can achieve it but let me fly. That shadow is at some height.I need to fly to catch that shadow. Let me open my wings. Give some muscles to my wings. I request you. I am getting suffocated. I am getting suffocated by your barriers . I am suffocated of social restrictions. You have given my good upbringing. Have some trust in that. I have adapted that in me but you need to show trust in me and let me fly. I beg you.

A husband: I love you. I love you beyond the limits. You are my soul and I wanna prevent you from all the odds. Yes, I struggling. I am struggling hard but I do not tell you so that u do not worry about me. I scream inside the whole day but I return home with a smile so that you feel secure. I know that sometimes I just cannot fulfil all of your demands but trust me I am in love with you. your love is my strength but I am weak in expressing my love though i I tell you sometimes how important you are to me but why are u leaving. I am on the edge. If you leave I will fell into the unknown. It will be impossible for me to come out of it. Just don't go. Please be there for a while. I will fix everything. I am strong inside and I can conquer the world with my will but you are the base of my will. Trust me I can come back strong from this misery. I am a fighter. I fought all my life and I have the experience. My success is just around the corner. Don't go, be there, just be there for some time. Bear this storm with me. It's going to pass soon. I will cover you until I am alive. I will be there and won't let even a single drop of this acid touch you. I will take all the poison and I will sip on it happily. All I want is you on my side as you are my strength. Don't leave me weak. Don't take my cover. Cover of your love. Please dont go. For gods sake don't leave.

Alone. ALone I am and alone I was. All those who were gifted to me by god have left. I am left alone. No storms are there anymore. With time, I have conquered them all but now I am alone. No one is here. Everyone has departed. I am left with the body without soul and now my feet feel heavy. I am not able to take steps now. My wings are waxed again and I am again trying to fight. I am now trying to find my soul back. I am trying to find love in others. I approach them and try to be with them but they do not understand. I am desperate. I am desperate for interaction, I am desperate for affection but mostly I am misunderstood. They call me super sensitive, am I? Please tell me what to do. They tell me to be strong but I had been strong all my life. I have suffered all the misery alone. I surpassed all the tragedies and now I want to love. Am I asking for too much? If I am honest then I am considered to be a fool. I try to spread the love but I am always taken wrong. What should I do? I don't know. I need someone with me now. I need a soulmate and I am looking for it.


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well i really like the post and the hard work you did ...

A good thought in this post, I think it's about someone who wants to live life freely as desired. I think only the serious mind truly lives and enjoys life, not the mind which is merely seeking pleasure, the satisfaction or the granting of certain desires.

Freedom means also the denial of the total annihilation of office within us. But we who are liberating means spitting the face of the police and the victim at will. If we understand ourselves within ourselves, then the mind and the feeling are completely free, then we can understand what is outwardly independent. The outward freedom of action depends on the mind free from the authority within. It takes a lot of patience in the investigation and consideration.

Thanks you ... Sorry if I'm wrong.

Your opinion is absolutely right. I agree with what you say. @jamalgayoni

"Standing alone doesn't mean i am alone
It means i am capable of handling things
all by myself"
Atleast your character has given a second chance to look for a soulmate. He is the chosen one.
What a beautiful panorama of emotions you have pen down. I am a fan of your writing .

I surpassed all the tragedies and now I want to love. Am I asking for too much? If I am honest then I am considered to be a fool. I try to spread the love but I am always taken wrong. What should I do? I don't know. I need someone with me now. I need a soulmate and I am looking for it.

It's nice to have these thoughts. You can not fight against life on your own because life is very difficult. You can not be happy in life because life is very beautiful. People find true happiness with the person they love. I hope everything will be the way you want it.

Thanks @slayer you got the spirit of the story buddy.

One can find peace in life only when he finds peace in his solitude.
If solitude is fraught with pain, anger, loneliness, then it means that there are emotional thresholds that need to be crossed .
Love is never sought. If you seek love then most definitely you will find an unstable relationship. But not love.
The key to all freedom from all emotional turbulence is in understanding the difference between solitude and loneliness.
A beautifully written saga of emotional turbulence, @honeychum

Thanks, just tried to express the feelings of a sad boy, teenager and a lonely man. :) I hope I did justice to them three. @nehab

yes you did :)

great writing content I can not say woow i just say god bless you and wish you all the best for feature
You have great skills of writing God bless you

Thanks for your good wishes @travellingwomen

Great art work

HELLO DEAR SO YOU CAN DRAW

Hi dear, no i cannot draw:) I can only write @roselinee

There are a lot of writings full of meaning there, posting a very awesome.
Thanka for sharing.

Best Regard.

👏 👏 👏 what an awesome post.

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