Life is Not Complicated
I took this picture myself and I have no fucking clue what thumbnail to use
So a distant relative called me up today to ask how I was doing. She took my number few days ago when she came around and she promised to call. I never expected her to. I never expect any human being to keep a promise. But she called. Not just called but sounded genuine - she had always sounded like that when I was a kid - and gave a real compliment before ending the call. For 2.5 seconds, I felt dopamine rush to my brain only to be forced back down once I heard my dad complaining of something related or not related to me. I don't know. Nowadays he just complains then my brain picks up the signals.
It makes me wonder why the ones closest to me are such a pain in the ass. If write-ups reveal people, you would have noticed back when I used to write that I'm a pretty dark person emotionally. I don't see rainbows. I am not a happy person.
This is not a blame post or a sympathy-seeking post. I don't need it. Keep your sympathy for those who bought Steem at $8. Rather, this is me telling a story, my story and being honest with what happened to me as a kid, emotionally.
They say that it is not what happens to you that shapes your life but how you chose to handle it going forward. Well guess what? What happens to you as a child shapes your life. Handling it going forward simply means reshaping it. We know how easy it is to change. Amirite?
You just have to keep ignoring it and suppressing the painful memories whenever they show up.
Back to the point of this story.
My closest of relations - dad, mom, aunties, uncles, grand mom- never made me feel good about myself growing up.
When people make you feel like shit, what do you do?
You avoid them.
It's that simple.
Their national anthem nowadays is that "Leo hasnt called me up in two years, I don't know what I did to him" and other versions of expressing distraught at my withdrawal both physically and emotionally from them for the past 4 years.
It's amazing how they treat this reality as some deep-rooted silent crisis and just can't accept that life is really not that complicated.
Well, to each their own. I won't presume to know your situation well enough to give adequate life advice.
Anyways, I've had several people in my life who were toxic to my mental state. Unfortunately, we would be in situations where avoidance was less of an option. I always try to be very upfront and honest with people, but not everyone likes that. They want a sugarcoated remark instead of a biting truth. With those people, I basically do what you do...
I don't associate with them. If I have a choice on whether or not to be around them, then I don't. If I do have a choice, and they keep wanting to talk, they are going to get the edge of my sarcasm pointed at them. And that thing can be sharp at times.
How'd they react if you told them how you feel?
What's the worst abomination one can commit against a Hindu deity? That's the reaction you will get.
What if you treated them like a best friend?
tryna brainstorm here
I guess with best friends, we don't get angry when they get angry, instead we try to understand why they're angry and give solutions or discuss.
Try this?
Lol nice with the brainstorm. I always chose Avoidance maybe because it is easier. It's a faster route to my peace of mind. They have lived their life. I wont spend mine trying to correct their mess - from my perspective tho. I rather practice the act/art of good relationships on younger ones ie siblings, cousins and of course my kids when the time comes.
Yep, set a great example. 💯
#wisdombranches
Exactly like that
It is the simplest way, I always say family are just strangers we were forced to know. I personally have no contact with any of them since they live in this little 2kids and white picket fence bubble and feel that because they are family they have a say in others lives. Blow the mind really. Because you have contact it does maybe make it trickier all the news down the grapevine and that. You seem to be handling well enough, exactly how I would I suspect.
As for fixing things etc a person would have to decide whether smile and wave is worth it, we do that to strangers everyday anyhow but fortunately the strangers know when to leave and not nag you about dinner being ready or did you hear that idiot got married, oh my she never said hello to aunty jenny ... A bubble is what I think I am saying and a shitty bubble at that.
I started doing that to strangers quite recently. It feels so good.
!gifbot so good