Strangeness on a train...

I am not a people person. And by that I don't mean I'm a misanthropist, I like people well enough, but I'm definitely not a beacon of social ease and grace. I do however find people fascinating... I think they pick up on this, because I always manage to get into the weirdest conversations imaginable with odd people. It may be walking down the street or randomly in a coffee shop or one of a hundred other places but I've noticed a trend lately. I seem to get into these types of conversations most often on trains...

Now recently I was over nighting in a backpackers on my way back down to my home city and in the morning I got chatting to the guy who'd been working night shift security. I wasn't expecting to get into this conversation. It was early and I was still dutifully trying to absorb morning coffee and get the wifi at the backpackers to do something other than half load pages when a shadow fell over me.

'I understand you wanna catch the train today?' the shadow thundered.
I answered carefully that yes, I had expressed that desire to the day shift guy the afternoon before and I was worried as I'd heard the trains were being cancelled. After a moment's brooding on this a smile, like lightning broke across his face:
'I'm Freeman. I have to take the train too. I'll take you there.'

Thus began one of the more fascinating conversations I've had recently. Freeman turned out to be from Congo, in central Africa. Now, even as someone living in Africa herself, the word Congo conjures up visions of steaming jungle and people with AK-47's engaged in an endless civil war. Of, course like so many of my preconceptions this really just isn't the case anymore, a fact Freeman delighted in explaining to me with the aid of helpful YouTube clips like this one as we clacked along the railway line:

Poto-poto, a residential district in the capital of Congo: Brazzaville

Yes, there are indeed two countries, Congo and Democratic Republic of the Congo right next to each other in Central Africa

While this pleasant exchange of geographic information continued for a while, eventually we got to a more serious point in our conversation. Almost casually, my new friend dropped the words:
'Men and women are of course, not equal.' Cue the raising of my single gay female feminist hackles.

He proceeded to explain to me in detail how the current degradation of society was at hand purely because people don't respect their traditional roles. A happy home, Freeman insisted, was one where the mother stayed home to educate the kids and the father worked and provided discipline. Of course I debated his points firmly at some points simply shaking my head and at others passionately explaining why things didn't work that way anymore. And that not all relationships were between a man and a woman anyway...

At the mentioning of this point I received a moments stony silence:
'Yes, but there are no gay people in the Congo.'
'There certainly are,' I replied gently, 'but they are probably too scared to be open about it.'
'No, if it is there, homosexuality is there because white people brought it to us. Look at these rent boys..' he began, and so developed another half an hour of fascinating debate. As with many people, Freeman could not understand why people would 'choose' such a life. Surely no one was born that way.

Now I will happily engage anyone in any kind of debate if I think they will at least consider the opposing view point, as I myself will try to do but sometimes you really need a breakthrough moment to make that happen. Earlier in our chat, Freeman had mentioned that one of the reasons many black Africans consider white ones to have money and be far better off financially is that it's reinforced on television.
'You grow up watching these programs. It's always white people that have the Ferraris and go to nice restaurants,' he explained patiently in his French accented English.

Damn you Rod Stewart, the man has a point...

It was a good point, at least for the era when he and I were growing up.
Now, I saw my gap:
'It's like that for gay people as well. Freeman. We always see heterosexuality on the TV, a man and a woman and we are taught that is the only way to be in society. Just like what you said about black kids seeing white people on TV and assuming they have money.'

I could see he didn't like that answer but also, that he was at least thinking about it. Maybe, just maybe, a seed had been planted. It was the common ground we'd reached in our conversation, along with a love for travel and a deep seated aversion to injustice. As we neared Freeman's stop, he scrawled down an email address:
'For if you ever want to go to Congo,' he stated simply. 'I can recommend you places to visit and you can also write me if you want to talk about these things further.'
'But wouldn't it be dangerous for me to travel in Congo by myself?'
He shook his head sadly: 'No, you would be fine. It is a very beautiful country. You will see. It was very interesting meeting you.'

The pleasure was mutual and as I sat thinking over our conversation I was thankful yet again for coming into contact with so many people with so many differing viewpoints in my life. People who are at least willing to engage in open and frank conversation about their beliefs and in doing so shatter preconceptions on both sides.

(Image sources:

1. https://theholidayexpress.co.za/
2. https://www.worldatlas.com/webimage/countrys/africa/cd.htm
3. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2909207/Rod-Stewart-takes-stunning-wife-Penny-Lancaster-spin-slick-257k-Ferrari.html)