Thank you @mariusclaassen .
Ye indeed that pain is unexplainable and i couldn't agree more.
I tryed and i did my best but to be honnest i couldn't hold myself because it was like fooling myself in a way, from the actual reality but after a while i got some good advices and felt relaxed even though i still miss her.
Everywhere i go, i think of her and the moments that we spended together came clearly to me like memories.
I was amazed and really felt a strange feeling because everytime i think of her i remember something new.
It's like searching inside my brain for deepest memories stuck in there for a long time and i still remember things even when i was a child...i do not know how to explain this thing.
Still an enigma to me