Why will I stop coding soon

I'm Harsh Shandilya, a (normal?) 17 year old from India. I am passionate about code, in love with Android, and a super proud mentee of @faddat. Oddly titled post though, huh? You'll know soon, read on.

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So why I know what I know? Simple, my daily life reflects that. A three-day span without an argument over my college plans (rather the lack of them) is a godsend. My parents absolutely detest me when I'm on a laptop or with a phone in my hand. Detest as in apartheid level detest. They try to put me down in all ways possible. A simple statement that I'd prefer not to join a college elicits an explosion from my mother. Saying I'd do a job rather than joining a sub-par university if I don't make into the good ones results in about an hour and a half's worth of life wasted uselessly listening to her blather. Yes, they have their reasons, I performed miserably in class 11, getting an aggregate of 70% marks. I admit, I didn't study much for those exams, because I had a new phone courtesy of Jacob(faddat almost everywhere, including steemit), and I was very much interested in porting over CyanogenMod to the device, so I slogged over it. Days and nights went by, which should have probably been spent on books, but we'll get to that soon.

And so I flunked them exams. Badly so, considering I got a 10 CGPA in class 10th and a 9.6 the previous year. And then it happened. Total closure. Phone and laptop locked out of my reach, with no access to anything anymore. Life of my dreams.

First set of exams came and went, a repeat show of last year's disgrace, and I was immediately taken to a counsellor, more like the counsellor for me. She asked me one simple question that took me supreme effort to answer : Did you ever consider suicide?

Yes, I have indeed considered the possibilities of suicide, eloping and general indifference to no avail. Chicken hearted bastard, that's me. That day actually ended pretty decently well, Dad looked like he had an understanding of sorts, which remained for about two weeks and disappeared. The best(?) thing that came out of that meeting was that I had a new friend(the counsellor, super sweet and supportive lady) and I had my gear back. Yes, phone and laptop were duly returned to me, intended for judicious use.

Fast forward to present day, I am in the middle of an exam sprint, got news that I got a 10 in Physics and 6.5 in Chemistry, out of 30 marks. That's how bad it is right now. I tried to make myself study, but I seemingly have stopped seeing the point of school, "we teach you useless shit so that you can enroll to a decent college that will teach you more useless shit so that you can probably get a job and learn something there". No thanks.

I am yet to tell these scores to my parents, since of course they'll blame the counsellor ( she came up with the idea that the school needs an Android app, and no points for guessing who's coding it right now ) and snatch back the laptop and phone. I will have to, eventually, but I'm holding it off for now.

The stress is extremely real, and I can see my entire family, even my 13 year old little sister, straining against it. Nobody in my entire family tree has ever been near a computer at my age, let alone be a decently known programmer. Each day for me is a struggle against the broken Indian education system, my old-fashioned-as-fuck parents and the mounting sense of guilt. Guilt that I am messing with their expectations, destroying all their dreams; but there's just so much you can change yourself for someone.

And so is my story, can't care for school, absolutely love coding, have a job secure future which my parents refuse to acknowledge, and an awesome awesome group of peoples I can call my near and dear, all thanks to Jacob Gadikian, my pro-"keep coding" hero :)