On Being a Widower

in #life7 years ago

Just over 4 years ago my Bride of 35 years passed away suddenly. Life can be funny like that. We finally got into "The magic Grove". The kids were grown and gone, we were close to retiring, everything was good. BANG, she is gone. 1st the decision not to shoot myself was dealt with. Then mourning, then the attempt to begin again. Survivors guilt was the most difficult problem to overcome. I write this post for other Men whom find themselves in a similar position. Much is written for Widows, Lord knows they need every tool they can get. Any tools they can use are blessings, especially when children are young. But this post is mainly for Men.
This is what I have learned...
It is not a sin, or a betrayal to your Wife (passed on) if you do not die. It is OK to try and find companionship. Men are not meant to live in sexual isolation. No one will understand your new life. Your In-Laws can be great friends, or they can inflict their pain on you. How you handle them is going to be a challenge no matter what. Dating is always awkward. Talk to your children. They will most likely be more supportive than you can imagine. For them your dating will be weird. They can handle it, just might take a little time. Under no circumstances rush into a new marriage. Be nice.
That's all I have for now. If anyone would like to chat about their next "Great Adventure" let me know. Since I have allowed my heart to be open again the world seems a better place.
Never give in to The Demon Depression.
Oh and one last odd piece of advise, Don't be afraid to speak with a older Nun. Those women have a very special insight.

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As you are quite aware, a person's life can change in an instant. As you say it is only up to the individual, how it is handled. From what you have written, it appears you are handling it very well! Advice, I have none, for only you can walk along your life's path. I can however wish you the best of luck on that journey....................billytwohearts
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