I swear I read all the way to the end... but that intro about adopting Asian children made me yell (not just laugh) out loud. (which is kind of a problem as I'm in church right now... no I'm not. I'm a dirty liar. Now I need to go to church).

Nice pinball reference Easter egg in there.

Also, I can tell you from experience that "getting a headache" is never a good thing. Its when these "headaches" occur that I find myself at the casino losing the mortgage money.

Finally, here's a handy tip. Stash a bottle of water under the seat. that way when you parents abandon you, you won't die of thirst and you have a wonderful "bathroom".