Life Lessons From a Geek Part 5: Hermione Granger - My Daughter's Hero

You can learn a lot from pop culture... if you know where to look.

My daughter's favorite character in Harry Potter (and possibly the world) is Hermione Granger. I could not be more thrilled that she has chosen this character to look up to. Hermione epitomizes so many of the characteristic I hope my daughter (and son for that matter) grows up to possess.

Because I know she is my daughter's favorite, and I am hoping that my kids can learn valuable lessons from pop culture characters, I decided to go right to the horse's mouth. I interviewed my daughter to find out why she thinks Hermione is so awesome. I was thrilled with her responses.

My daughter began with her favorite way to describe anyone she likes. Hermione is "nice and kind". That is literally the first thing she says about any new friends she makes. If MJ keeps seeking out the "nice and kind" people in this world, I will be one lucky dad.

When I asked my daughter for evidence of these traits, she immediately reminded me of what Hermione had done for the house elves in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Hermione starts an organization called S.P.E.W. (Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare). She does this to try and protect the rights of these sometimes troublesome creatures who are used as servants (perhaps slaves) throughout the wizarding world. This idea of "standing up for the little guy" really hit home with my daughter. It is actually a rather minor part of the books... but not to MJ.

When it comes to kindness, MJ pointed out that even though Hermione is very bossy, she only acts that way in order to try and help people. She never bosses anyone around in order to benefit herself. She bosses people around so they can do things that will benefit themselves. My daughter also saw this as Hermione "being helpful". Even though she was the smartest kid in every class, she was always giving tips on how to perform spells or make potions. She did not hoard her knowledge. She shared it... even if sometimes others didn't really want it.

My daughter is quite a rule follower. She does not like to get in trouble. Naturally, she notices this about her hero as well. Hermione does indeed follow the rules... most of the time. In fact, not only does she follow the rules, she tries to influence her friends to do the same. She is the exact "good influence" parents want around their children.

But wait... does she always follow the rules? I asked my daughter who immediately responded, "She only breaks the rules when she has to".

Intriguing... "What do you mean 'has to'?" I asked.

My daughter summed it up perfectly. She said, "Hermione only breaks the rules when the rules are wrong and she needs to do the 'right thing'."

I then asked, "How does she know what the 'right thing' is?"

MJ smiled and said, "It's what her heart tells her is right."

Perfect!

I don't want my daughter to be a trouble maker. I don't want her to break rules for silly selfish reasons. But I don't want her to be a mindless robot either. She may not be ready to make the distinction yet, but at some point in her life a situation will arise when doing what is right happens to be against the rules. My wife and I have a very important job. We must teach her to think for herself and to learn to judge when it is time to "listen to her heart". I think the Harry Potter books provide some easy to understand lessons regarding both sides of the issue.

In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Hermione breaks the rules and attempts to fight the troll alone. We can use that one as a bad example. We can easily show our daughter that Hermione should have talked to one of the adults instead. On the other hand, after Dolores Umbridge takes over Hogwarts, Hermione had to disobey the rules... because they were so unjust. This one might be tough. We are going to have to be very careful about what "unjust" truly means. But I think we have some time...

My daughter also pointed out how loyal and what a good friend Hermione is. She is constantly standing by Harry and Ron's side (or taking the lead) no matter what the danger. She is also incredibly brave. She shows all three of theses traits with one quote from the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. When the three friends first meet Sirius Black and they believe he is out to kill Harry, Hermione boldy states, "If you want to kill Harry, you'll have to kill us, too!"

Obviously, we are not going to encourage our daughter to risk her life for her friends (luckily those are extremely rare situations outside of books and movies). But we can use this as an illustration of how friends care about each other. This may also help MJ when it comes to choosing friends. Is she choosing a friend like Hermione who will stand by her and support her? Or is she choosing a "mean girl' who will tear MJ down in order to make herself feel good?

My daughter did a great job of identifying all of those traits on her own. But she was missing two of the most important ones. She was going to need some guidance in order to notice these lessons.

I asked my daughter what name Malfoy called Hermione. She whispered, "a mud blood".

"Why did he call her that?", I asked.

"Because he's mean and her parents aren't wizards", she responded.

"So she's different", I continued.

"Yeah she's different, but that's no reason to call someone names."

Mission accomplished!!!

Hermione Granger is unique. Both of her parents are Muggles. Some in the wizarding world see this lack of "pure blood" as an abomination. But not the good ones. The good people accept and love Hermione. They don't care at all what kind of blood she has. They judge her by the "content of her character" not some silly insignificant difference. My daughter recognizes this... hopefully she never forgets it.

The next one is very special to me personally... because my daughter is a lot like Hermione. MJ is really good at math. She's smart. She is also very shy. She does not want to stand out. She does not want people to make a big deal over her math ability. She doesn't want awards. She doesn't want special attention. She just wants to blend in. But I don't! I want her to be proud of her ability. I want her to learn to accept compliments about her skills. I want her to be... like Hermione.

Hermione is the smartest person in her grade. She studies all the time and is proud of it. She raises her hand in class so much that teachers need to tell her to put it down. Her friends come to her for help with school work. She knows every spell and every potion. She even used a time turner so she could take more classes. Everything about her screams, "being smart is good". MJ needs to see that as much as possible.

I asked MJ about this subject.

She said, "Hermione is 'clever'".

"Is 'clever' good?", I asked.

"Of course!", she responded.

"Are you clever?", I probed.

She smiled and said, "Sometimes".

We're getting there...

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