On Friday I found myself in the book store, and I decided to buy some cute kids books to give to my husband as his daughter will be staying with us over the next week for the school holidays. I got him a card to go with it to write some nice things in the hope that receiving the gifts and a card would make him happy.
I had watched one of those silly videos that comes up in your Facebook feed recently about 'love languages' and I started wondering: would receiving a card with some nice words in it and some gifts actually make my husband happy? Or am I just trying to do something that would make me happy but wouldn't necessarily be the best possible show of love for him because we have different love languages. And what even is my love language? Dam you, random video in my Facebook newsfeed!
When I searched for that on Google, I came accross this website http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ and discovered that the 5 love languages is something Gary Chapman coined and wrote a book about. But also that you can do a quiz online to discover what your love language is. I just started working on the weekends, and it is super quiet, so at 7:30am on a Saturday morning with no calls to take, I decided I had 10 minutes to take the quiz.
My results didn't really surprise me that much, the quiz told me that 'Words of Affirmation' was my Primary love language, with Acts of Service and Physical Touch as my joint secondary love languages. No surprise there, I want my husband to tell me that he loves me, do the dishes and then give me a slap on the butt.
I messaged my husband, who doesn't work on the weekends, and asked him to do the quiz from the comfort of our bed, I was so curious to know what his love languages were!This is what he sent me:
Gift giving = zero! I guess no more gifts for him ๐ I can just tell him I love him, cook him dinner, and give him a kiss instead!
That Saturday morning was awesome. When my husband got up he made a fry-pan pรฃo de queijo and a hot chocolate and brought them into my office, and I didn't even ask. I think the last time my husband made me breakfast might have been about 2 years ago so I was pleasantly surprised by this little act of service.
Although later on when we were out, I asked him if if had done the dishes that he used, and he said no. I guess you can't win them all though, right?
Then later that day once I finished work and we had gone out together to get something to eat, he had been joking around like "So, you want to go see Spiderman? That's great! Let's go!" (there is no way that I am going to go see Spiderman, sorry, no matter how much I love you). So I joked back and was like "Oh, but I thought you said you really wanted to give me a candlelit massage?"
Guess who got their choice on that one? I suppose it doesn't hurt to have a husband whose 'Primary Love Language' is Physical Touch. ๐
Do you guys think you will take the quiz to find out what your love language is? ๐ Or do you think your partner should be happy with whatever you're willing to give them? ๐ Let me know in the comments!
We both are fans of surprises, no matter how little or big they are. :) We like to surprise each other with last minute trips, gifts and special little actions. I think that it really is depending on how much you know each other and the effort one makes.
aww I love to be surprised too @artedellavita
and I love the act of surprising someone as well, it is a nice feeling to know you are doing something nice for the person you love that will make them smile and make their day :)
I think its a healthy thing to question these kinds of things when you are in a serious relationship. Because the premise of them is to make sure your significant other is happy. This involves pleasing them and if there is a disconnect despite conversation and revelation then it could be a problem down the road. Which I do feel like is what adds to so many failed relationship since self observation is usually just applied to the business side of life more then anything else.
Self accountability seems to be also on the decline as well so... #Upvoted ;)
yeah so true :) Definitely good to try and check in with your relationship from time to time and make sure everyone is as happy as they can be :) thanks a lot for the upvote :)
We both are fans of surprises, no matter how little or big they are. :) We like to surprise each other with last minute trips, gifts and special little actions. I think that it really is depending on how much you know each other and the effort one makes.
aww I love to be surprised too @artedellavita
and I love the act of surprising someone as well, it is a nice feeling to know you are doing something nice for the person you love that will make them smile and make their day :)
It truly is :) I get so giddy doing it too haha
No more gifts for him is good for you :D
haha absolutely!!! ๐
hahaha nice ;)
haha @jibi333
I think its a healthy thing to question these kinds of things when you are in a serious relationship. Because the premise of them is to make sure your significant other is happy. This involves pleasing them and if there is a disconnect despite conversation and revelation then it could be a problem down the road. Which I do feel like is what adds to so many failed relationship since self observation is usually just applied to the business side of life more then anything else.
Self accountability seems to be also on the decline as well so... #Upvoted ;)
yeah so true :) Definitely good to try and check in with your relationship from time to time and make sure everyone is as happy as they can be :) thanks a lot for the upvote :)