Man is a social creature, thus his (and her) inherent nature is to fight for position, to keep a wary eye on how others are doing to and resent it when they are doing better and to seek to surpass them. This is not our best self, or the self that creates the best community, but it is the reality of the body we all find ourselves in this time around.

Trying to repress this just pushes the urges into our subconscious, and we end up turning our logic into pretzels in order to justify what our subconscious is screaming at us to do. Much better to acknowledge the urges and then remove ourselves from someone's company if we find that they stimulate too much competition from ourselves.

Similarly, a willingness to withdraw from friends who demonstrate that they have not figured out how to control these urges is healthy. It's how balance is achieved. Peaceful and voluntary withdrawal is the feedback loop that keeps society peaceful and healthy. It acts as a one way valve, that terminates unhealthy relationships while maintaining healthy ones, and the termination process of a relationship is part of the learning process for others.

Relationships are like a healthy marketplace. Monopoly is bad. Competition is good. Having your friends know that you won't stick around if they treat you poorly is part of what keeps them honest and trustworthy.