Doing business online
We don't do business like we used to. With this I mean going to the shops, to the street fairs, buying stuff being really there in the actual place, in person and paying with money. Now, more and more people are doing business over the internet. And the business of buying and selling second-hand stuff through ads on specialized websites is widely used here in Portugal. But there is one thing that never seems to change: the Portuguese customer always want to bargain. Still to this day. What is changing is only the fact that this bargaining is getting more stupid. When they wants to buy something, at whatever price this product is, they always want to lower the price.
If I am selling a device for 200 euros, I am asked if I can lower it to 150. But if I were to sell it for 150 euros, I am asked if I can lower it to 100, even if the device costs 10 times more in the store. Whatever the price, I always get this type of phone call:
-"Hello, I'm interested, but... can't you make it cheaper?"
They are not satisfied until they achieve a price drop.
If I put on sale a top-of-the-line Porsche car, let's say... for 20 euros, there will be someone who will call me and say:
-"Hello, I'm interested in that Porsche, but... can't you make it cheaper?"
And there is a question I often get asked that annoys me. That's when they ask:
-"What's the minimum price you can do?"
To which I feel like answering:
-"Well, don't you see the price? It's that one! If I could make it cheaper, I'd put that price. I want to sell it. This is not a store. This is second-hand material. It's old. Like your neurons."
So I took out my phone number from the ads. I don't want phone calls because I don't want to wet my cell phone with saliva coming from the anger I get at the time. Now I get these nonsense just by email.
And those customers who send messages to say they are interested in buying but then never say anything? Is it just to pass the time? Was it to take a break from the many hours they were playing World of Warcraft or something?
And what about those who seem to be allergic to shipping costs? If we say that we have to add the shipping price, they have a panic attack. They always ask if I can offer the shipping. If I say no, they don't buy. So what did I do? I increased the price of each product that I have for sale, already considering the shipping costs and I tell people that the shipping is free. And it does work. It's a psychological trick that I gladly give to you. It's free. You don't have to thank me. Nor pay the shipping costs.
I know this online business world relatively well because I worked for many years on a classified paper and site. A lot of things annoyed me, but on the other hand, I liked receiving the ads because, either because the advertisers were funny, or were serious but they mispelled writing, or for lack of knowledge of the product, sometimes funny ads appeared. I will show here some ads that I received in the office. This is all true. (Note: i received in portuguese, so i will translate it)
"Selling house with 2 rooms and sun from day to night."
"I'm ugly, dirty and mean. I'm looking for ugly, dirty and mean women to an exchange of headbutt, punches and kicks."
"I buy cannabis and other plants that make you laugh."
"I sell a motorcycle helmet. Reason: I have a big head."
"Selling a house in Lisbon, quiet area, has 3 closets with fireplace."
"I sell my wife, with little use on my part, little mileage and little experienced."
Poor woman. To subject to this sort of husband behavior. And he values her for 5 euros? It's very bad. Well, maybe I'll even call him to buy his wife. But I'll ask first if he can't make her cheaper.
Podcast version in portuguese language available on:
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Internet Archive - https://archive.org/details/@gustavo_vieira
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