Musings on getting older... and accepting it
I live my life in a much more youthful way than most other people in their mid-40's and I fully intend to live my life at least in part, as if I was in my 20's for the rest of my life. I have noticed that a few things are changing for me as I get older and I have to embrace it since the battle can't really be won.
I haven't lived irresponsibly outside of the crazy years while I was in college and experimenting with basically any drug that didn't involve needles. I've been relatively healthy and am in much better shape than most of the people that I went to college and high school with. I would also say that the relaxed pace of life in SE Asia in both Thailand and now Vietnam, has been really wonderful for my mental health since woes about money are much easier to deal with here since we aren't taxed to death and things are not overpriced. Being over here has actually opened my eyes to what in business school we referred to as "economies of scale" and how things are priced according to what manufacturers believe said markets can bear. This is why a Diet Coke (I don't drink the full sugar ones) costs 30-40 cents here in Vietnam but it is more than $3 in New York.
As I get older I am noticing things changing about me that I had hoped wouldn't happen to me, but it is just a part of life and while there are options to delay the inevitable, there is not way to really stop it.
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My eyes! MY EYES!
I have noticed as time goes by that my eyesight continues to get worse and worse. I had a slight vision problem when I was in my 20's but this only necessitated wearing my specs when I was in a large classroom where the professor was really far away. That was the first time that I suspected I might have vision impairment. When I went to the optometrist in my 20's I was kind of amazed that I was supposed to be able to read things that are 15 meters away from me. Up to that point I just thought that words that far away were blurry for everyone.
Now that I am in my 40's it is absolutely necessary for me to have glasses with me at all times. I don't really struggle with things that are far away but these days I am basically doing what my mother would always do and that is to find just the right range in front of my face that I am capable of reading something like a book or a menu. Also like most people I spend a great deal of my day looking at monitors and without my reading glasses which cost a mere $4, I really struggle to read it. I still CAN read it, but I will definitely end up with a headache. This doesn't affect me much at home but I really don't like taking glasses with me everywhere and I really do not want to be one of those guys that has the glasses attached to his neck just to be able to read a menu. These days I just tell someone "I can't read that" if the font is too small on a menu and have them do the work for me.
I probably should go and get real glasses that help with things both near and far because reading glasses are merely magnifiers and they actually make reading things that are far away MORE difficult than if I wasn't wearing them at all.
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Undeserved mystery back pain
This happens to me a lot more than I wish it would, which would be never if I had my way. I lift weights every now and then but I certainly am not doing deadlifts or excessive amounts of situps but every now and then I do the strenuous exercise of "sleeping wrong" and my back is in agony because of it. Other times i have to keep my posture in check while I am sitting at my workstation because I'll realize that I have the posture of a child that is screwing around at their desk.
I can only presume that this is going to get worse and worse as I get older. Some of the people that I hang out with are in their 50's, 60's, and even 70's and when I talk about this sort of thing they have this look of "oh you haven't even begun to suffer yet." I am not looking forward to this but I guess it is just a part of getting older. Perhaps I should do more cardiovascular exercise in the hopes that this straightens out whatever the problem is back there.
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Generally becoming more grumpy
I have been an extrovert my entire life. I am by far the most outspoken member of my immediate and as far as I know, my extended family as well. I was a class clown when I was a kid and I was the life of the party in my 20's. Now as I get older I find that I have a lot less patience for little things in life and there are many times that I am at actual parties and I will find myself simply wanting to go home and get away from everyone.
I absolutely HATE it when people drop by my apartment unannounced to the point where I have gone out of my way to not tell most of my friends were I even live. The people that do know where I live, including my landlord, have been told to NEVER come over without contacting me first and for the most part people respect this request. I have contemplated putting a kind of mean sign on my door that says something to the extent of "did you contact me first? If not, go away."
The main reason for this is that since it is so hot here that I am normally in some state of undress in my house and also since my dog is a vicious home protector she goes absolutely mental when someone knocks on my door. She gets so agitated by someone knocking that it sometimes takes me ten minutes to calm her down long after the person has already left. I also do not have a big apartment and I generally have crap, including my clothes, just lying all over the place. I don't want guests. If you want to meet up with me send me a message and I will meet you at a neutral location.
I would be willing to bet that a lot of other people start to feel this way as they get older because when I was in my 20's I used to really like it when people would just drop by out of the blue. Now, I hate it.
Becoming more conscientious about money
I think this is something that we all should take to heart at some point in our lives especially since our entitlement systems like Social Security have been bankrupt for quite some time. I read the other day that many Western countries like my own do not have the number of young people entering the system to pay for the oldies that are going to claim it. This is why they keep pushing the age requirement up and up before you can claim it. Since I don't actually want to work until i am near 80 years old (if I even make it that far) I have taken steps to ensure that I don't have to.
I am not frivolous with my expenses and even though I could afford a much better apartment than I currently live in, I look around me and realize that I already have all I need here in my $400 a month condo. In all actuality, among the people that are in my social circle, I'm actually living in one of the more expensive places in this part of town. If I wanted to or didn't hate moving so much, I could probably cut that to $300 or less.
This frugal nature that has taken hold of me is a big part of the reason why I didn't really enjoy my last vacation to Thailand. I really hate spending money on things that I am already paying for where I live. Every time I had to pay for a night in a hotel it pained me because I wasn't staying anywhere exotic nor was I particularly enamored by the actual rooms. Even though I was only paying around $30 a night for a room, it just made me angry to have to do that.
I rarely buy expensive things unless they are computers or other electronics and the clothes that I wear are quite old and were cheap to begin with. The way I look at it is that if people are judging me based on the cost of my outfit, they are likely not people I would prefer to be friends with anyway.
There are more, but this is already too long to the point where I don't think people are going to read all of it anyway. I don't mind getting older and as far as mid-life crises are concerned, I think my issues are relatively minor. I'm thankful that I chose to live my life the way that I did and I am accepting about the fact that before too long, I will be in my 50's. Most of the people I hang out with are already there and they are happy. There is no reason why I can't be as well.