ARGUMENT - A GAME WITH NO REAL WINNER

Humans are bundle of emotions. Once the emotions of someone are stirred up, nothing you say no matter how correct or logical does not matter anymore. One thing I noticed about arguement, it goes in cycles. If a man believed that he right or the other person was trying to prove him wrong or have a small victory on him, no words no matter how logical will make him back down and say "O yea, you are right."

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Argument has no winner, any 'victory' you gained through argument is not real and momentary. Arguments only end up building resentment in the mind of the perceived 'loser'. Each man has an opinion and he is most times, no words you say will make him change his position and admit to 'lacking intelligence' because every one of us believe in our being master of opinion, reasoning and intelligence.

An emotionally intelligent man knows and train himself to avoid an argument. Many times we have encountered someone so reserved and collected suddenly became loud and abusive in the course of an argument. What happened to him? It was all because he felt cornered, he felt the the other person was trying to make him feel small, insecure or inferior so he became defensive, loud and sometimes abusive just to get back at the other arguer.

The post is not about winning an argument like it has been written many times. It is about always staying out of one and passing your points across without becoming passively aggressive and making the other person feel smaller or stir up his emotions.

It is almost impossible to avoid argument or a confrontation in our dealings with people, it is a sign of emotional intelligent to know how to avoid or handle one.
Here are the few ways of avoiding or handling argument or preventing escalation of one.

** Kill off an argument through actions. It is almost impossible to gain in an argument especially when it involves your boss or someone superior. Don't argue it but show it through actions.

** Create a distance when the dialogue is entering into argument or escalation. You are not walking out on the other person, do it politely or ask to be excused.

** Ask questions that shows you are interested in the other person opinions and you are not after winning an argument or making him feel small.

** Always stay calm and don't raise your voice. Raising your voice makes the other person go defensive and that will put an end to intelligent conversations.

** Maintain your cool even when verbally assaulted. Take a deep breath and leave few seconds to cool off before saying anything or don't say anything at all. He just made himself an asshole and you an emotionally intelligent dude that is always in control.

** If the whole conversation or argument is not worth your time, you can simply end it all with "you are right", " I understand your point", "it is true" and so on. One thing I noticed with this tip is the arguer sometimes become a gentleman or lady by admitting you have also a point.

It is always better to chose your battles wisely. If an argument will add no value to your life, let it go. If it does not matter in the run whether someone agree with you or they will find the truth on their own, then don't bother yourself arguing. Save your time and energy, simply walk away.

Thank you for reading.

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