How The First India Trip Blows My Mind-Part 2

Ashram of Amma's

It is a blessing that I can bring the peace and calm back home from India, except the crisis had happened because of my fears, otherwise, this trip would have ended nicely and beautifully. Instead of blaming myself, I would like to take this opportunity to change myself to be a better person. This is the thing I fully commit to.

I did not spend much time in Amma’s Ashram yet only 4 days, however, it brought me a new realization that I never had. Finally realized what always hinder us to go ahead are not the challenges and the difficulties God give us, actually are the fears we have. My realization become clear especially when I lost something and someone who are very important in my whole life. So ironic! We always learn things from losing! Definitely it is the great lesson to wake me up. (But Don't think that I'm a victim. It's dangerous!) Fear of insecurities, fear of losing expectation, fear of commitment or fear of rejection…Just because of fears, we always let fears run over our heart which is the part we should trust and listen to. We try to seek the sense of security, love, trust, truth from outside- family, partner and friends, but actually they are all within us. First we have to love ourself but not be selfish, by then you can love others unconditionally.

I’m a city girl and I was born in one of the busiest and the most competitive city in the world. This crazy city has taught me how to win others to become the best and smartest one, how to behave myself so that people will not look down on me, how to be strong without crying and complaining, how to be 'nice' to others without showing your real opinions and thoughts… and those ‘beliefs’ gave me plenty of pressure, fears of failure and losing expectation from others. Gradually it became harder for me to listen to my heart. My heart blocked and became so cold inside, and nobody can come in even the closest and beloved ones in my life. Finally I totally believed in those ‘beliefs’ and ‘thoughts’ as ‘truth’ and lost myself.

Without doubt, there is still a long way to be a better person, but at least I see the hope there waiting for me. I believe that the best is coming to me very soon, and also to your guys, no matter what or who - your family, your health, your job, your Mr/Mrs Right etc. Please always believe that you deserve to be loved and what God give you, and follow the light inside your heart.

Thanks for reading my post and being with me.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

With love,
Gladys

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_{Picture is captured from Google.}