You are a courageous woman. It's hard when the right choice still makes you feel so bad. Thats when people who have been victimised are vulnerable to going back to the way things were.
Especially when the things that have been said are still rattling around in your head, and in times of sadness get louder and you begin to believe them as fact.
I think crying is OK. And being vulnerable in front of your kids and them seeing that you are OK in spite of sad times isn't a bad thing either.

I gave my teen an illustrated book called, The happiness trap. It challenges the popular notion that happiness is the best and only useful emotion. It is appropriate to feel sad, but always know that you have a steem army to fortify your esteem if you ever want or need to pour it all out.
Pour it, dump it, scream, cry, write offensive poetry. Just don't stop being you. X

I read a quote here somewhere recently, it went something like, - Feeling lonely surrounded by people who do not value who you are, is more devastating to the soul than actually being alone. Something like that.
Steem on mumma bear. 💃💪❤👊🌹