I wonder if your colleagues have any inkling that you give them names like pork-shin in your writing. I hope not - it seems like a lot of fun to be sitting at your desk subtly smirking about it. I know from experience.
An extra penis does seem handy. Take that as you will.
One would assume it would be most handy!
They will never know unless surely becomes Louie swim and one of them joins, ha!