To judge or not to judge that is the question?
It is impossible for all of us to like the same things, or to even like each other, but have you ever met someone and instantly knew that you liked or disliked that person?
Recent studies done by psychologists from Cornell University, states that first impressions usually last. A full study was done, where a group of people are each shown a group of photographs with different faces. The participants each had to choose the photos of the people they disliked by only looking at the faces of the people on the photos. They were given no additional information about these people and made their decisions only on what they have seen in the photographs. This study concluded that people are judged by their faces and that first impressions usually last.
If you would like to read more about this study, please read more here.
I have met plenty of people that I instantly disliked, and because I am just a human, I have judged them incorrectly. Although I usually have good judgement and usually are correct in my judgement, I am willing to admit that I have made mistakes. I can usually tell in the first few minutes if I will like a person or not, but one thing that I don't do is to judge them by the way that they look. For me the way someone looks, has absolutely nothing to do with their personality.
Is it possible that we judge too easily?
The saying don't judge a book by it's cover is much easier said than done. People are often judged by the way they dress, or by the number of tattoos they have on their bodies. People are judged by what is on their outside, and not judged on what is on the inside that really matters.
Overweight people are often not recognized for who they really are, and sometimes overlooked for positions because of the image they portray.
We live in a such a sad world, where everyone fights to stay alive, and be the best they can be, but they are often judged and damaged by others without people realizing it.
Often we say things to people without thinking and we don't even think of how something as silly as one sentence can make someone else feel. People are damaged because of bullying, and develop psychological problems because things are just too much to handle.
Circumstances also plays a role in how someone feels on a particular day. Imagine you are walking in the woods and you hear a puppy bark. You look for it and find it and it is the cutest little thing that you have ever seen, but...when you try to touch it or pick it up, then the puppy suddenly wants to bite you. You step away to prevent the bite, but then you see that the puppy's leg is trapped.....and almost instantly you feel compassion again.
We must judge ourselves, and judge of our own acts, but not make our word a law to everybody. We must not judge rashly, nor pass judgment upon our brother without any ground. We must not make the worst of people.
Here is a just reproof to those who quarrel with their brethren for small faults, while they allow themselves in greater ones. Some sins are as motes, while others are as beams; some as a gnat, others as a camel. Not that there is any sin little; if it be a mote, or splinter, it is in the eye; if a gnat, it is in the throat; both are painful and dangerous, and we cannot be easy or well till they are got out.
That which charity teaches us to call but a splinter in our brother's eye, true repentance and godly sorrow will teach us to call a beam in our own. It is as strange that a man can be in a sinful, miserable condition, and not be aware of it, as that a man should have a beam in his eye, and not consider it; but the god of this world blinds their minds. Here is a good rule for reprovers; first reform thyself.
So how can we stop judging people?
- Don't look at the outside of a person. Be conscious when you talk to a person you had just met.
- Monitor your thoughts, and think before you speak.
- Be friendly and change your mindset. Change the way you think and get to know the person before you decide.
- Focus on yourself and not on the other person.
- Get rid of negative thoughts and find something positive in that person and focus on that.
- Remember that the person you are talking to, might feel exactly the same about you.
- Remember how it feels to be judged.
From a sociological point of view it's not so much 'judging' people that is the problem, but the implicit demand from certain others that we effectively 'make a judgement' about them based on the identity they 'give off.'
Honestly, how many 'inked' people, or 'digital nomads', or 'hipsters' would be content if I treated them in exactly the same way as 'ordinary Dave with the kids next door': what many of these people want/ (need?) is for me to acknowledge that they are 'interesting' because they are inked or digital nomads, while at the same time not 'judging the person'.
Not everyone with a 'distinct' identity needs attention I know, but many do.... and it's exhausting to continuously have to acknowledge that uniqueness without prejudice...
I'd like to say a hats of to 'Dave next door' whose just gets on with bringing his kids up without kicking up a fuss for the need for recognition!
Without him (or her might be a more fitting gender) we'd just be lost in one big politically correct identity parade.
Seems like you wrote “too” instead of “to” in the title.
Thank you so much...would have made a complete fool of myself and then you would've seen people judging me!
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Hahahah 😂😂That was funny. I love the dancing panda btw 🐼. Its so cute 😘
Keep up the good work 😃
This is such a difficult thing to overcome. I’m a teacher at an all girls school and take my students to numerous professional conferences. I always tell them that I wish they could wear whatever they want, but unfortunately how they present themselves has a direct effect on how people hear them.
As humans we best judge from our view regarfing every thing which is very wrong a very good friend of mine was rejected at the American embassy because he wore a tattoo .same with one who was arrested for having a scar on his face for criminal involvement.thanks for tjis wonderful post @giantbear
Its nice story steeming @giantbear
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Wonderful stuff sharing and great idea that we can't judge the value of person.
I totally agree with you, in the last sentence you have placed.
It is normal in the human being, we make mistakes but we must learn to stop that mania of judging without knowing.
It has happened to me many times, and then I apologize because it is wrong, and I see that I have errors that I must correct.
The Bible says in Luke 6:37. And judge not, and ye shall not be judged: and condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: release, and ye shall be released.
Quick to hear they say but slow to speak
That's why we have two ears and just one mouth
What we say matters a lot and it can deter or uplift or downcast someone
Nice post @giantbear and good read
yes, as humans we have bad perceptions of others in a fraction of seconds but then we are discovered ourselves if we hit or miss...
It's the same adage that's been around for a very long time: You can't judge a book by it's cover.
dear @giantbear , i commend you for this write up, it is very educative i must say. i happened to stumble on your blog by @williambanks name in light post and i decided to check you up.
it is true that we humans are quick to pass a hasty judgment based on our different bias due tocultural and ethnic background. but if we keep our bias aside and try not to judge, we will be amazed by the potentials each person we "write off" has to offer.
personally i learnt not to judge a book by its cover, i see every individual i meet in life as a teacher, every opportunity iis a learning opportunity for me.
there is this popular adage , " if you want to hide something from an african, put it in writing", im glad i can read the truth from every meaningful blog here.
keep adding value to the community bro
@antigenx