Separating the Prefix: Infidelity or In-Fidelity

Infidelity is something most of us fear in our significant other. It's the breaking of the verbal contract that's unspoken during agreeing to date someone that implys no sharing of each other physically or emotionally with other people.
In-Fidelity is a large subgroup that removes emotion and engages in sharing of themselves with another physically for the purposes of reminding themselves of what they have at home. Lost you yet?

I've encountered many married or otherwise attached women, as well as men, over the years in my adventures of sin that it seemed to be a reappearing circumstance in the dating world, so much so I could classify them into two types. There are of course other circumstances and is not completely separated into these two groups, these were just the most common I've seen.

The first type being the Infidelity crowd. These were your classic trophy wives that likely used their husband for money with no care of getting caught cheating because he was most likely doing the same thing. Most guys would call this a whore. Also, this is your typical cave man asshole that throws his dick down whatever hallway is open. Most women would call this a whore.

The second type is a very similar style of an expletive but they seemed a lot smarter about covering their tracks and with their justification to avoid being subject to such judgmental name calling. Whether you choose to accept them or not(I don't), they are a little bit hard to digest. Although, they might be depending on your preferences. Either way I'm not judging.

The In-Fidelity crowd views sex with strangers as a want. They want to have sex but they need to protect their significant other. They're devoted to the person and have no intention of ever leaving that person. I've met one girl that told me,

"I love my boyfriend. I'm going to marry him one day."

to which I responded, "Then why are you cheating?"

"Because I don't want to lose that love for him."

I was stunned for days. How is that a valid response? I saw her months later with her boyfriend, who I ended up knowing and I couldn't get over their sense of happiness with each other. We saw each other, she smiled and went right back to loving her boyfriend. As I walked away I heard my Nana's voice in my head,

"Don't try to understand another person's love."

It all struck at once. I didn't agree with what happened but I also knew that it was working for them. I often wonder if he'll ever find out, or if he knows his girl has a thing for strange (sex with strangers) and they're just poly-amorous, or if I'll ever be able to trust anyone again seeing her non-chalant attitude about hiding it from the one she loves.

Years later I found out she does it every Halloween. It used to be my favorite holiday but these days I look at Halloween differently in that it's excuse to sleep around and even some attached people engage in it. I've met many others over the years that sleep around a couple times a year but still date the same person they have been with all along.

Part of me thinks that he knows she's trying to keep it a secret and thinks he won't be able to do better but this comes from valuing someone soley on physical appearence. It seems like in order to keep someone they care about, they have to turn a blind eye to it. This sounds a lot like low self esteem but some people enjoy being a cuckhold and has nothing to do with it. Others don't know they're the cuck but are totally in love with their significant other and believe every lie they make to cover that they need a reminder of why they're in love with another, other than getting that surpise visit at work, early morning phone call, lunch dates, etc. They have no idea their significant other is In-Fidelity.

I think people that engage in In-Fidelity are in love but after being with the same person for so long they are seeking to keep the spark that you experience in the beginning to tend to the fire between them and their lover. This is not a healthy relationship to me but I do recognize I'm a bit more traditional in my relationship promises than most these days and think trying something new with the same person would suffice. Despite my history casting a shadow on my words, I've never engaged in Infidelity or In-Fidelity.

Your actions may be more damaging than you think and I could never do it but it doesn't mean that I don't see it.

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