Almost James Bond
Patron Profiles: Mission Improbable
We do a lot of printing for our local community. As it is tax season, the printing load has increased. Now, in the name of patron confidentiality, we make it a policy to not look at our patron's printouts. I personally don't care to see what's being printed out at any given time, but an incident with a certain man that I refer to as Almost James Bond broke a five year no peek at the prints streak.
There is this slight, well-dressed man that has recently been gracing our library with his presence. I don't know what it is about this guy, but from the very beginning just being around him has caused the hairs on the back of my neck to take flight. Not that the creature has ever done anything inappropriate, but his behavior started off eccentric with claims of lost books, payments, refunds, etc.
Things took a turn for the enigmatic and odd when he asked me to preview his prints for him one afternoon. All of the prints are sent from our patron computers through a software program on our main circ computer. This spares us from having to deal with print and dash issues and the program is also really helpful to the patrons as it lets them know exactly what they are printing and how much they will be charged for their prints. On our software we have the option to preview the print jobs, and when Almost James Bond asked me to preview his prints, I obliged.
I found myself staring at an application for a CIA agent.
Hmm...The first thought that I entertained was: would a potential CIA agent use the public library to apply for that position? Me thinks not. I looked up to see Almost James Bond staring at me in the most unsettling way, and not wanting to appear off guard cheerfully chirped out:
I felt my neck muscles clench slightly as Almost James Bond leaned over my shoulder to look at the print preview. My hand impulsively clutched my pen tighter and I quickly peeked at my utensils cup to see if the scissors were still in it.
Almost James Bond smiled his empty smile and paid me the thirty cents that he owed. We stared at each other for a millisecond, and I honestly felt in that moment that I stepped into some sort of game. My initial thought impulse is this guy is a big bull fecal artist that likes to try to impress people in the most odd of ways. I just shrugged it off, albeit I did discuss the weirdness with my manager, and continued with my day.
The following week the spy who unnerves me returned. Once again he had me preview his prints. This time I found myself staring at what looked like a resume written in some form of Cryillic. Great. Was he a double agent? Did he need a dose of Lithium? I mean, I am pretty good at customer service, but I was pretty sure at this point that this guy was most definitely engaging me in some sort of mind game.
Prints made, I held out his Russian resume and stared right into his eyes without any sign of disquieted feelings or an impressed demeanor. I quite literally was embodying a zero cares given attitude. My goal was to channel every front desk government worker that I had ever encountered. He dropped twenty cents into my hand and I swear I noted a crinkle of disappointment around the edges of his carnivorous eyes.
Long ago I learned to trust my creepdar. There is something strange about this character. What exactly it is, I know not, but what really bites is when I was updating his account information I discovered that the man lives right down the road from me. Sigh.
Today Almost James Bond graced our doors again. His behavior today was completely introverted, he didn't speak too or look at any of us. Perhaps he is running some sort of op and he can't engage with the local wildlife. All I know is that inconspicuous this man is not, so I hope he is applying at other places.
.JPG)
Want to read more @Generikat posts?
Your new friend is just dying for you to ask him about what he is printing. I'm sure he has a whole cockamamie story ready to unload on you the second you ask. As you already know, when you work with the public you run into these types.
Now the question is why is he printing odd things and asking you to preview them. My guess is he is a lonely guy looking for some attention by trying to act like somebody more important than he really is. You said when he first came to the library he made claims about lost books, refunds, etc. All these actions fit the profile.
Of course that's just my amateur opinion since I haven't personally witnessed his actions. I could be wrong, he really is a secret agent, and now you have blown his cover wide open all over the internet. In that case it was really nice to know you @generikat!
I tend to agree with your assessment about Almost James Bond. I know this might come as a shocker, but I actually care about most people and want them to be happy, so I'm trying to walk the fine line of good patron service and not encouraging blatant attention seeking behavior.
My husband is amused by what he calls,"my followers" at work. His mockery is far harder to bear than the local wildlife and if he laughs at me much more I'm going to throw random rotten food in his direction. That reminds me, I need to clean out the fridge.
So, I'm 99.9% certain this dude is not an agent of some sort. However, that sliver of uncertainty is why I posted the tale. You know, in case I "disappear" suddenly😜
You made it 25 years before retiring out of the public sphere, right? Would you think less of me if I bolted after 6? Lol!
I made it 21 years. I should have run away after one. I might have more hair if I did.
Always trust your creepdar! Those guys are always harmless till they are not. Just a brief perusal of the news serves to remind me we share this planet with a good number of creepers!
Sound and much heeded advice my friend! There is just something odd about that character, so of course he is at the library every time I work😜
I was so serious reading this article thinking, “if this guy does anything to my friend, he has a butt whooping coming.” Sounds like the spy who unnerves you - laughed hysterically at that title - postponed his beat down for now. :)
Glad you postponed the beat down for a later date. Also glad to make you laugh a bit! Almost ran over my favorite almost spy today with a cartload of books. He still gives me the unnervies! However I am feeling pretty confident as I appear to have a whole bunch of friends looking out for me:o)! Thank ye!
What a mystery man and story, very intriguing. I think you should keep your eyes open and maybe you’ll be able to finish this tale.
Love the language you use in your writing. You make it so interesting. :)
Oh I most definitely think there will be at least a part two. I am just hoping there will be a happy ending😆
And I totally love your comments!!
Yea I hope so too. :)
Oh, the Cyrillic documents guy! An odd one for sure.
I almost thought my mere presence scared him away yesterday, but alas, it was not so. Definitely an odd duck.
Have you asked him how he likes his martini?
Hmm...that particular question might be worth getting fired over. 😆
On second thought, I am more than a little concerned that I might get a Hannibal Lecter sort of answer!
This is the famous & greatest story about James bond.We can take out a lot of knowlwdge from this post.It's an educative value.
Thanks #generikat.
@Resteem,follow & upvote has been done.
Thank you so much for your kind actions @hhumaira! That you think my post has educative value really means a lot!
You are a greater writer I like you writing style, You are doing good you shared a nice story