Depression

Hello my steemit friends(if i have).I don't know if here is the right place to post this,but i will post it anyway.I've just started recently to feel more and more depressed everyday and I would like to share this experience with you.I don't know why and I don't know any reason,I'm only feeling sad.This happens only when I am alone,if I am with friends or my parent I am feeling normal.The thing is I come from a good family,I don't need anything and I have no f*cking idea why I am feeling like this,but it is getting bigger and bigger everyday.I already have suicidal thoughts and I'm thinking that there is no way out.If i spend all day with persons I think I escaped,but when the night comes I wake up in my room feeling really bad.
The strangest thing about this condition is that you want to be happier,but you can't.It doesn't matter if you listen happy music or you watch happy movies.You get sadder and sadder every minute.I want to tell you about this cause my friends think that I am just idiot and I don't want to worry my parents.I can honestly tell you that writing about my feelings I'm feeling a relief and I get better.I have an advice for the people that are in my situation:don't drink alcohol and don't smoke weed,after the effect goes away you will feel worst.Try to communicate as much as possible and go outside the house.Also I want to apologise about this post and I hope that I didn't bother anyone.Thank you for listening me!See you soon.