Recovery Diary 6 # pressure

To be honest form the bottom of my heart I am a lazy person, I don't admire those millionaires or great scientists. I admire ordinary people who live in peace and happiness, they do a routine job, not cost too much energy, seems boring but it reserves plenty of time for explore their hobby and stay with their family. Thay can easily feel satisfied because they didn't expect untouchable things.

That's life, we are all mayflies, live randomly and die, no one will remember us. But in our age, technology and the competition forces us to learn and run quickly, if not, you'll get lost in dust.

Now back to the story with my boyfriend, I use a trick yesterday, I tell a friend who works in google (let's call him Dr. A) about the situation between my boyfriend and me, asked him do me a favor: invite my boyfriend to have lunch in google. Dr.A is my boyfriend's idol, he promised to invited us to visit google one day, but I left London so the plan was delayed.

Maybe this is the last thing I can do for my boyfriend. I worried about him. He performed like an adult but I know he faces a lot of pressure, form me and from work, he lives alone in London, I am not sure if he can get through this by himself. As Dr.a is his biggest idol, he will feel relief if they can talk.

Also I wanted to know, what he is really thinking? He couldn't even talk to me, is because of pressure or because of boring with me?

After the lunch Dr.A told me that my boyfriend didn't say we were broke up, conversely, he give him a very nice description about me and said he wants me back to England. My boyfriend said he was under too much pressure and blabla...

I got more confused and, some other feelings, disappointed. Why he can't even talk to me? He just left an awful mess for me and think I will be good and wait for him forever? He acts like an ostrich, escaped from the reality, just because he was under pressure? It seems like I am his Wonder Woman, I could get through all the difficulties. Two weeks ago I thought I could count on him partly, not totally, but now I understand there is no hope to count on him, he is such a kid and needs care, emotionally and economically. Maybe he will grow up one day, but who knows.

Will I be the Wonder Woman?