Into the looking glass of life
Our daughter is off at a party tonight with her boyfriend, whom happens to be Addie's old Best Friend's twin brother. I went to drop her off tonight, and went inside. Her old best friend...Jamie had all of her new "best friends" there at the party. Here is the story of Jamie, and how my heart is exploding with a big hit of betrayal.
2 years ago, Addie started to hang out with Jamie. A few weeks after their friendship began, Jamie's dad succumbed to his mental battles of PTSD mixed with a splash of Borderline Personality Disorder. He took his life a week after Jamie's 11th birthday.
Jamie has 8 siblings, two twin sisters whom are older, an older brother..her twin, and 5 younger siblings. Her poor mom was immediately struck with parenthood with 9 kids, on her own. As you can imagine, there is only so much mom that can go around for 9 hurting children.
Jamie started to hang out at our house more often than not, eventually making a room for her in our home. I made a pillowcase for her with her dad's face and a beautiful saying for her to have her dad around all the time. She was with us all of the time. Last Summer we invited her to come with us on our family vacation to Oregon. It was such a fun and memorable trip. When she was with us, our family felt whole (I always felt like we were supposed to have 3 children...but with the loss of the baby we were only blessed with 2 here on Earth). Her laugh filled the room and her hugs were the tightest most amazing hugs. She was quickly turning into all of our best friend and a daughter.
Fast Forward to 7th grade.....ughhh. Addie and Jamie were just fine for the first few months of the school year. Still with each other all the time and doing all they could to be around each other. And then...the betrayal hit. Jamie started to get a new group of friends...which is totally fine and dandy. The only problem was this, the girls were/are not kind to Addie and Jamie was changing into a person none of us knew. This is where the Poem Addie wrote comes from.
The new friends started to message Addie on Social Media and tell her what a drama queen she was, and how they didn't like her even though they didn't even know her. She was an awful person ect...Jamie didn't stand up for Addie, she turned a blind eye to the bullying that was happening to her "best friend". Addie has tried so hard to not let it get under her skin, she has pushed it all aside, weeping behind closed doors.
I didn't realize how hurt I have been with this whole thing, maybe with Mercury in Retrograde...it is pushing all the feelings out. I sat in the house tonight with ALL the girls who have been so mean to my daughter, literally shaking with Anger. Jamie didn't even acknowledge me, not even a glance. My heart was further ripped to shreds. I have never felt so much rage towards little teenage girls....ever. Going through Jr High was one of the worst experiences of my life. And now, as my daughter is going through these years..it breaks my heart. I hate it even more than I did growing up. Nothing is worse than watching my own child suffer in silence as she pretends to be ok with the bull crap being handed to her by her own "best friend".
I got home, and had dinner. Then broke. Poor Wes has to deal with so much crying from me..LOL. I am so filled with emotion and I just want to let Jamie know how horrible of a person she is for discrediting everything we have done for her. We gave her a safe place, when she didn't feel like she had anywhere else to be. We loved her when she was sobbing missing her father, we helped her with her siblings when their mom wasn't available. We have been there for everything. My mommy heart is broken and upset. Maybe one day she will understand the amount of sadness that fills our family. Maybe one day she will look back and realize what she chose to give up for a group of new friends that will one day be tired of her and move on.
Until then we will continue through the looking glass of life
Kids can be rough, the bullying everywhere and the pressure of feeling like we need to belong to something can change a person completely, especially when its not with the good crowd.
My 4 yr old daughter, first year of school, got punched in the stomach from a 7yr old boy a few weeks ago. It is really making me think about homeschooling...hoping I could have the patience for it.
Being teenagers, I can't imagine how you can handle this kind of situation. That would be something to blog about when you have solution. I could definitely learn something from it.
How do we protect our children when we are not right there with them?
It is seriously the worst!! Our kids have both dealt with their fair share of bullying, unfortunately Utah schools are awful and don't take bullying too seriously. The hardest thing, I think, is that everyone needs to be exposed to crappy situations to learn from it how to react appropriately. As a mom, I just want to hold them tight and never let them go through these types of situations. It is all part of growing...I suppose.
We will get each other through it! It takes a village :)
It takes a village for sure! All the power to you <3
I think your family's actions by being there for Jamie during her time of need is wonderful and a lovely example to your children on giving love and acceptance to others.
She is still a child.
Whilst you may feel betrayed you cant let this get to you, keep your heart open, show your daughter being love is more important and maybe there are more lessons to be learnt here like boundaries? Or the ability to walk away from situations that are not good for her ... life will present these situations to learn and hopefully grow from.
"Your mommy heart is broken.." maybe for now. All I know is you sound like a very loving and caring person and mother so dont let yourself dwell on it too long.
My answer is way too long so thank you for sharing! I feel like I know you and you write like I am listening to you tell me a story over a coffee
Teen girls can be some of the meanest humans on the planet! I hope that Addie is able to move on from her best friend's betrayal and finds someone else that can be just as close with her. Or, maybe this new relationship with Jamie's twin will somehow bring them back together. I am sure it's hard to look at Jamie now, after she was practically a daughter to you, but be strong, mama!!
Sorry for the late response back, yes...teenage girls are no fun!! Thank you for taking time to read and comment back. I hope you are well!!
Nice photography and I Like your post.