If you read my blogs, you probably know I’m doing great now. I love writing about life and things that make me happy and I don’t mind sharing. I have become an open person instead of a closed one. The feeling is liberating. But it wasn’t always the case. I have seen the other side of happiness as well. The one where people ask: ‘how are you doing?’ and you answer ‘I’m fine!’ but you are not.

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I have friends in the UK and I speak to them trough Teamspeak. The two headset method works great.

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Why are you fine?

When somebody answers: ‘I’m fine!’ to the ‘how are you doing?', question. I sometimes ask the simple: Why?

It’s a very simple question but it confronts people on the spot. People's reaction when you ask ‘why?’ are interesting.

I have noticed that the ones that are doing fine for real feel comfortable in their skin, they are happy and they will answer your question genially and fast. They don’t have to think about the answer.

I would answer something like this today: “I am doing fine because I feel happy, I feel positive. I love my girlfriend and we enjoy each other company a lot. Cool things are happening with my business as well! And nothing bad is going on with my family at this moment. It’s great!”

It’s the people that take more time to answer, trying to avoid the question or say ‘I don’t know’ that might be in trouble.

Nine years ago, my own example.

Around nine years ago, I was 23 years old. I was living together with my dad, who I stayed with after my parents separated, at the age of 19. Life was good. My bond with my father had grown very strong. We had become friends as well as father and son but I had no direction in life.

Since 2004, I played a game called World of Warcraft (WoW). I played it in college. But now I was basically playing it every day and night. I wasn’t working or doing anything constructive and because of that I almost have no memories of that time. I was living like a zombie.

What I do remember is how I hated it when people asked me what I was doing and I could not answer anything that would fit in their mindset.

It took some digging but I managed to find a picture of me in 2006.

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Answering with: ‘I’m playing WoW day and night and I’m fine doing that’ is not what people want to hear. So, I lied. I was ashamed. I was not ok with it.

I told people what they wanted to hear. 'I’m searching for work and I’m sure I’ll find something soon.' And then I would quickly steer the conversation in a different direction.

It’s just easier to tell people what they want to hear because they won’t give you shit. I got really good at it too. But deep down I was ashamed. My friends were all moving forward. All of them seem to be successful in life. They had girlfriends and did fun things every day.

I was stuck.

My brother helped me

I think my brother got so sick and tired of watching me doing absolutely nothing that he decided that something needed to be done. He said, Mark! You like computers. You can help others too.

He got me introduced to this small group of investors he was seeing and they invested some money, helped me register my company and they helped me distribute 2000 flyers (That I made myself). And that’s how my company started.

Business was very slow at the beginning of course. Maybe 1 client every 3 weeks and that was great! Now I could play WoW day in day out and when people ask me what I was doing I could say: ‘I’m building a company!’. That how I wasted another 2 years of my life.

I’m not a bad guy and I am actually pretty good with computers so through word of mouth my company grew whether I wanted it or not. And at some point, I had multiple jobs every week!

The investors that helped me in the beginning still owned 51% percent of my company (how stupid I was to go with that deal!) and I decided it was time to buy them out. I can say now it was the smartest thing I had come up with in years.

My investors who long ago had lost faith in me were all too happy to get their investment back + 50%. I don’t think they counted on getting anything anymore. And I was happy to be free. The company was now completely mine.

Only now, I can see I was not doing fine

My business kept growing every year at the same pace until in 2012 at the age of 28 I decided to refocus my life. I wrote about it plenty so I won’t repeat it here. But the company is doing better than ever now and I have a much more fulfilling life.

Around 2014 I think, getting a lot better at business but I'm ever better today. I don't wear a jacket anymore I feel more comfortable wearing what I like now. I also smile for pictures! :)

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Only now, I can see I was not doing fine when I thought I was doing fine playing WoW in my twenties. I was wasting away. I actually have trouble getting the timings right from most of that period. Not because I was doing drugs but because every day was basically the same.

I do have some regrets the way I spend my twenties but it’s not like I can do anything about it now. My focus is only on the future. The positive future.

I guess my point of this story is that it’s never too late to change your life but also that it could be wise from time to time to evaluate your own situation. Your current state. Are you happy with your current state, are you moving forward, can you improve your life?

I should have evaluated my life at a younger age and realize I was stuck. I couldn’t see it at the time and maybe it was impossible for me to see it back then. This I will never know.

Everything is easier in hindsight.

But maybe it’s happening to you now and you don’t even realize it. Give it a thought.

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