Empathy

Have you felt that many people in this world has no empathy, let alone compassion? While having no empathy is not wrong if your lack of empathy does not interfere the people around you, doesn't it make one very disconnected from the world? Maybe they chose to be like that... but fine. No harm done.

But what about those with zero empathy but cause others distresses? It sometimes irritates and even pains me to hear remarks with the absence of empathy.

One incident that I remember most clearly is when a ceiling light was burnt and it required a professional as it's unlike our ordinary lights, one twist, one turn and all done. So I asked my boss, I'm not sure if I should call Tey, the electrician who has been doing all the electrical work for the office and for my boss' house, reason being the last time I saw him, he was dying from leukemia. He muttered, "Oh, he died." Maybe there was, but it sounded to me it has zero empathy. And they went way back. I know there's nothing wrong to that statement but when he said it, I paused for a good 3 seconds, didn't know how to digest this piece of information. My emotions couldn't not seem to process it.

The worst encounter is still the time when I was chatting with my cousin in her hotel one night, she received a phone from a stranger telling her that her dad has passed out by the street and he wasn't breathing. My cousin asked her a series of questions and the replies really got my jaw dropped wide open. Nobody was doing anything, nobody was trying to give CPR, nobody had call the ambulance at that time (or maybe someone and this stranger didn't know), nobody seemed to be worried that this man has passed out and not breathing. I couldn't take it but I had to hold back my tears because I have to be strong for my cousin. It was an emotional uproar inside of me. It was a life and death situation, does nobody care?

However, people with too much empathy is not necessarily good either. You tend to absorb the negativity in one's situation. You sense not only what people feel but also what they need (attention, space, time...), as though you're some sorta psychic. I considered myself quite a hyper-empathic person, but thank God not high enough to be affecting my own emotions but I certainly will worry about their well-being.

Yet, in this society that is filled with people with emotional needs, it is not easy to be hyper-empathic. As though your own problems are not challenging enough, your soft little heart will still give rooms for others, your small little shoulders will toughen up to carry the weight of others' burden and stress.

I am not complaining or boasting at all about this. I am just feeling very blessed to be able to lend my ears and shoulders to others. And with all the rantings, cryings and breadowns, I must say it makes me feel stronger. Stronger in the sense that, my problems are so small, my problems can be solved, my problems are nothing as compared to what they are going through. And it builds me up, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I must say I couldn't have done it with God's strength in me.

I hope in years, I will still look back and feel the same. That I will not grow tired of it. That my bond with Christ will be stronger and stronger. That I am still someone my friends could always count on when the world seems to be against them.

Here's a song for the needy.