Lost in the dark...

...Lost in the dark...

Am I drowning?
Am I sinking?
The depth is increasing. I hear loud cries of silence. My whimpering weaker by the second. But why should I be so rash? Me, a master at been detailed and calculative, it shouldn't have been me who would do this. But what would this regret undo?

As the darkness grows thicker and I have no option than to resign to fate and await my punishment or become like the nightmares that have constantly haunted me, a gliding grotesque ghost!

Silently, as I resigned and drown in what might be my last minutes of self awareness like the last scene of a drowning man in slow motion, it all began to replay...

Born with a silver spoon, the only remaining boy of six, I had lost my 4 elder brothers to an air mishap, one that claimed lives of several hundreds of children across the country, whom were returning from the awesome excursion at Masai Mara, Kenya. They must have felt privileged until the moment the tires screeched and sent them to inferno haven. That left two of us. And our parents took time to heal. Seventeen solid years!

Amazingly, smiles came to the family again when a twin celebration popped in December of the new millennium; my elder brother just got into havard to study artificial intelligence and I, gained admission into university of Ibadan. Dad for the first time in years, sat in his favorite chair whistling softly to Luther vandross and mum mouthed my favorite all time best, Celine Dion. That was the best day of our lives. The damilola-cranor family would know no such times again. A year after, junior had gone with His friend to an expo at the world trade centre and had just called dad to share the news when his line suddenly went off. An hour later, it aired on CNN, another tragedy has rocked the DC family! Junior is gone!

Even as I drown in this darkness, I find it hard to believe, that he is gone! I had received the call on my prestigious Alcatel mobile phone which had gained me fame in school. Immediately after the call, I had lost my stance and flipped the phone somewhere I never got to remember. Junior was the brother you could ever have. The one that brought life to everyone, made you smile and even laugh at jokes he made about himself. He would stand up for me when none dared to, including my father!
I took the first bus home. And in an hour, I was back in Lagos to meet a father who'd died of heart attack and a strong mother who would in two weeks die of stroke!
But what had I done to deserve all these?
The world came crashing on my flimsy head. I dropped out and wasn't psychologically fit for school again. I was taken to the village to live with grand parents but the villagers made it worse as I was labelled the evil omen that ruined the family, being the last and surviving member. So I told my aunt and I was relocated to the U.S where I recovered, thanks to my aunt; a renowned clinical psychologist.

All went stable after a while and I thought it was over. Until I met Sandra, we started as college friends and one led to another...
The date was chosen, I had come back to Nigeria as her parents insisted they won't have their daughter marry in an "akata-land!"
All went well, and the wedding was superb. I wouldn't have wished it went another way. On the night of our honeymoon, I was withy wife Sandra and we were about to take it to another level, when she received a call. Her tone went gradually from loud to hushed, then I started suspecting something amiss. I thought she was cheating, how I wish it had been just that. After the call her countenance changed and she wouldn't let me touch her. This went for days till we came back from our honeymoon. I let it slide, for as we got home all seemed to normalize. Until, last week, on Tuesday morning, her family came for a visit then I was told the hard truth. Sandra's sister isn't actually her sister but her daughter! And the worst part is, Sandra might never conceive again! I took my car keys and stormed out, went to the nearest bar to drown my sorrows in a crate.

It worked! At least for a week. But for the past one week, I have been having nightmares, all I see is darkness and I'm drowning in it. So I just shrugged it off as hangover effects.
Then today it happened!
I wanted to have my revenge, so I arranged for killers to attack my home, commanding them to spare no one. All was going according to plan until my secretary called me, the project we'd been bidding for has been selected, all I'd need to do is present the original copy of some documents and all would be alright.
I had forgotten. In a rush, I stormed into my living room, her parents were already cold. I laughed and ran to pick the document. Just as I made for the door, I felt a sharp hot sensation in my chest. It burnt with every breadth. Then I saw them zoom off. I tried shouting but spluttered rivulets of hot blood. Strength gradually faded, then a knock on the door. It was Sandra and her daughter, with the girl's father. She ran to me, clutched my shirt as the salty liquid from her eyes blended with the pastel of blood hues on my body. My strength drowned, and the nightmare fast becoming reality. I have lost it all! And now, I'm lost in the dark!...