How To Not Be So Paranoid

erikaharris (66)in #life • 7 years ago (edited)

The worst thing about living in a pathological reality -- a reality that PRESUMES sickness, brokenness, wrongness -- is that people become disempowered. We think a pro or a pill is needed to cure things we are often well-able to cure ourselves.

Take, for instance, paranoia.

I do not equate awareness of legitimate conspiracies, with paranoia. That's awareness.

Waking up to massive, deeply embedded lies put forth by deceitful governments and immoral 'leaders' is crushing... disillusioning... but not necessarily paranoid.

I'm using the word 'paranoia' to denote an UNFOUNDED or IRRATIONAL idea that someone "is out to get you," or means you hurt or harm. In the cases of government cover-ups and conspiracies, there IS evidence that supports the distrust many feel.

So, I'm not talking about national/global distrust. I'm speaking of personal distrust. It often comes up:

with cannabis consumption (which may be attributed more to the anxiety of engaging in criminalized behavior, than a true physiological effect of the plant's compounds).
with mental health diagnosis (which are given with great imagination, zeal and profit-making)
with a profound distrust of the people or experience surrounding you

This post will focus on the third bullet-point.

We will deal directly with the unwanted experience of being in a paranoid state. We won't split analytical hairs about the name its been given, and which mind-numbing 'scripts best put the angst to sleep. Let's just look at how it feels, and how we might transmute the feeling to something better/useful.

I had a recent and strong experience of being in a paranoid state. Because of a very active meditative life, I was able to "pull back" from the experience, and observe myself in it. I learned something fascinating, and got immediate relief that felt like putting down a 200-pound bag I was struggling to carry.

Here's the idea, sequenced out:

I had the sickening feeling that the people and circumstances in my life were not trustworthy.
I knew that feeling was irrational and unfounded, but I felt it, anyway.
To make things worse, I watched The Truman Show. (whyyyy, lol??!)
Exhausted myself on negativity.
Got angry for having wasted life (time and energy) on something not even real.
Decided to engage my mind FOR GOOD. Then toyed with the idea that...

If outer life reflects the current state inside me...
Then what is inside me that is also "out to get me" or "intends me hurt or harm."
WOAH!!

Paranoia draws 100% of its power from OTHER PEOPLE.

Not only are you not required to look at your own internal confusion, in order to keep a paranoid narrative running, you will always find a culprit OUTSIDE of you (that you can never control or verify). This is incredibly DISempowering.

And you will not likely do much SELF-INQUIRY, which would actually lead to an action or conclusion you could control or verify. This is incredibly EMpowering.

When I shone that light... to ask MYSELF if I was being untrustworthy, unsupportive or sabotaging in anway... it STOPPED and SILENCED the blaming of others. It STARTED a scrutiny of my own behavior, which is the only behavior I can do anything about anyway!

With gentle, truthful self-inquiry...

... you can move from paranoia, to metanoia.

And when you expose and deal with the untrustworthy aspects of your own being... when you tell all your pieces and parts that they WILL ALIGN themselves into harmonious and unanimous support of their physical host...

...then you access a peace and a power that actually BECOMES UNPHASED (or mildly entertained) by the idea that someone is out to get you. There is no terrorist more violent, then the ones that live inside us.

My experience was that paranoia can not only be dealt with skillfully, but can also be used as a tool for ruthless insight, and radical integration.