Thanksgiving, and what I personally am thankful for.

in #life7 years ago

I was told about 4 hours prior to writing this that tomorrow (now today) is Thanksgiving. This came as a slight surprise to me due to the fact that for me, Thanksgiving is like any other day. I have few friends, and far fewer family members I even care to speak of, much less to. I also suffer from a number of mental and even a few physical problems, so all-in-all when this most hypocritical of holidays rolls around each year I tend to feel... Less than thankful. And as an added bonus this year, my girlfriend broke up with me last week and now most of the stuff I do to relax, calm down, find my "happy" place, etc, merely reminds me of her (we had a lot of the same interests.) So this year I am kind of, less than less than thankful...

However, I have decided to try my best to list off some things I am truly thankful for. Maybe it will make me feel better or some shit, I don't know, I just needed an outlet, so here goes.

  1. ASMR videos, particularly ones by Ephemeral Rift and TheWaterwhispers. The ASMR tingles I get are great, but the videos, or more accurately, the people making them, can truly calm me down and help me relax and fall asleep, and that is just plain helpful. I may even write my first ever thank you to someone for making a product to one of these two channels.

  2. Cannabis, weed, marijuana, devil's lettuce, etc, etc. Regardless of what name you call it the stuff has kept me relatively stable on many occasions. Being as broke as I am I don't get nearly enough to use it as proper medication, but I can usually scrounge some up during the worst of my depression or anxiety issues. The fact it isn't truly legal pisses me off, and scares off a lot of people who could benefit from it, but it truly does have medical uses.

  3. Old music. As I said my now ex and I have many tastes that are the same, but I like old music, like there is no age limit on music kinda old music. She is more of a 70's and later gal, so I can listen to the old stuff without being reminded of her too often. Plus, a lot of old music is just good and soothing regardless of all that.

  4. My friends, they are few, far between, and most of them don't know the problems I have. But I usually enjoy their company, and when they are around they can often make things better just with their presence. Even when we butt heads I am glad to consider them friends.

  5. My animals. I have more of them than people I truly consider friends. They are fluffy, loving, and cuddly. Having them not only makes me feel loved, it also makes me feel needed. If you ever suffer from depression I truly suggest getting a nice, needy pet.

  6. Cheap brands that are as good, or even better, than the expensive name brands. I am a modern Jack Benny, except I ain't rich, and frankly, I like to have some nice things whether it be food or clothes.

  7. Anyone who knows who Jack Benny is, and got the cheapness reference, bonus points awarded for each birth year after 1950. And also, because I don't want this list to come off a joke, though I do appreciate people who appreciate old shows, old shows. There is nothing like sitting down, turning on the TV, and being taken back in time to what is basically a different world. Everything was different then, even as it was all the same. People faced many of the same problems, but society was so much different then that through the magic of forced perspective, everything seems so much more simple.

  8. The internet and its many services that allow me to find so much. While the internet has a lot of bad on it, the good on it helps, and all-in-all I am grateful it exists, I'm just less than amused by how some use it.

Thats it, that is all I could think of right now that I can honestly say I'm thankful for. While writing this I have been listening to Ephemeral Rift who I talked about above. I don't know if its him, this list, or maybe some combination, but I am feeling a little better. Maybe focusing on the good things, however small, can help for a bit.

Anyway, I'm going to try and write (and post) an actual post or two in the next couple days. I have written or half written several only to toss them or ignore them into nonexistence, just another bad pattern to break. I hope anyone and everyone reading this has a great Thanksgiving with your friends and family. And might I just say, I hope that next Thanksgiving it isn't as hard to be thankful.

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