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RE: How come I am not locked in, lost or a serial killer?
You are not a lunatic Kitty. You are a very strong person to survive all that you went through! You said people don't have to pity you (in other words) but it's all 'just' a lack of love, which you should have had from you're parents. That you have a hard time loving or beloved is all caused by that, i'm sure! But you are a nicer person than you give yourself credit for; you always want to help and you and me never had a 'virtual fight', only one misunderstanding, while we both where abused as a child!
I understand what you are saying but why do I not have the right to be disturbed, to be a fruitcak or a serial killer? Why do.I need to be normal after I have been going through?
It is not the lack of love I miss but the lack of hate and revenge and to teach someone a lessons for real (those bullues who refuse to hear should feel)
It's not a 'right' to be disturbed or to be a serial killer, you know that! You went through a lot but thank God you are not such a person! But I think I know what you mean. I said to my doctor; 'I wish I was a psychopath, than I could take revenge without feeling guilty'. He said; 'No you dont want to be one, do you think they are happy people?! You'll end up in the "van Mesdag Kliniek". He is right I guess... But I still have feelings of hatred, so I think I know what you mean...?
I would not end up in the van Mesdag nor Pieter Baan. The point is everybody has excuses, small or big ones, why they act the way they do. Nobody takes or needs to take responsibility for his/her own actions. There is alwsys someone or something to blame. Have a look at Holleeder for example. But if it comes to me I do not have the right to blame anyone or anything. I never get some credit. Every word I say, thing I do is measured. How come I never get some credit, a break? I don't agree with your doctor... there are way more nuts walking around free as locked in. Same with criminals.
I have no feelings of hate... so perhaps you are lucky you feel something. Even if these feelings are ups and downs.
Kitty, I don't measure every word you say (you didn't said I did, I know) You have EVERY right to blame people. For instance, the people who were responsible for you when you were a child! Those people are the very first to even hate! And you have the right to have a break, I agree! But there is no one who can arrange that for you! I do feel your suferring, in a way of course, I can't feel wat you feel... I only can imagine... But please, don't say I'm lucky. I have my own hell to go through. And wich is worse, I don't now. Probably yours, but that also don't have to be measured.
Thanks for yourrespond. Let's say we both are not lucky. Although I consider it as a luck I met you
We can shake hands on that, I'm also happy I met you! Thank you!!