LIFE (PART 3)

I write about life because I fear it, probably. A fear typical of that friend who is scared you'll go farther than them in life so avoid looking into your eyes for fear you'll begin another ambitious tale; a fear typical of that friend who monitors your every progress, gives you some little advice to make you feel they care but never tells youeverything. No, don't get it wrong. They like you, but they don't like you better than them. I fear life that way. I'm afraid of living it, yet I'm afraid of leaving it. But these fears, both of them, are tightly knotted with living life. So, I pull the heart from my chest—my fears and my guts—and put it into my pocket. I am no longer scared, but Iam not courageous to make any progress, so I bring this bloody heart out again, wipe it clean with a handkerchief and push it back into my chest. Gently.Buddha. Wise man. He says life is characterized by suffering.You look at a poor man's life, you say Buddha is correct. You look at a rich man's life, you shake your your head, Buddha is wrong. Butthis is the whole truth about it: while the poor man bothers about what to eat, the rich man bothers about what not to eat. You shake your head again, you say that because one is rich doesn't mean they won't be in good health. But I do not mean it that way. This is what I mean: that both the poor and the rich are in a constant struggle to save their lives. It is suffering.Like you, like everyone else on this journey of life, this gift and curse, I worry daily, but not too much anymore. This is what helped me: I changed my perspective. I began seeing life as a huge loaf of bread. I cut it into slices, one for each day. Each day, I pick a fresh slice, I cut it into bits, I chew hourly. Since I began seeing life this way, I have survived, each day a time. But I do not forget there is another slice for tomorrow, and the day after it, and the day after the day after it.

PS: I just wrote this to unwind. Meanwhile, the slice-a-day method and the consciousness of more slices in the coming days still creates a picture of the huge bread—the huge life feared.