Torn!!!
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This is hard and no one else knows how I feel.
I put up a United front with nature so I am not considered weak and tired.
I have to be strong otherwise, the world will question my legitimacy as a man.
I must not allow them see me cry. No, no tears needed.
Why will a man like myself cry?
Why do I have to cry when everyone already see me as being very strong as a man?
Those were the thoughts in head as he plotted his suicidal plans. He has been in too much pain all his life and no matter what he does, he never seems to catch a break.
Born into a struggling family in a time when loss was all the family ever knew.
Mama, could have named him Jabez had she an understanding he would eventually offer that prayer of Jabez. Unlike Jabez, he didn't get an answer. He prayed it from the depths of his heart and cried for days while praying and believing it like the scripture states.
The rope is set and tied. The knot well knotted and neck stretched out to make it work. Hands and feet willing but with a heart of uncertainty and conviction.
"This is the best thing to do and nothing less" he tells himself. "No one needs to know, it just has to be quick and painless."
He mounts the barrel, noose over his head and down his neck. Waiting and seeing most one is anywhere near, he fastens the knot and kicks of the barrel and snap...
He died or so he thought because the mission was successful. The shades was all white and clean and the angels moved around the hall or is it a city now?
The smell was white as well and he knew he was home dead.
"what next?" he thought to himself. He tried to move but he couldn't, he knew he was in heaven but he could move and the "angel" smiled at him. He smiled back and before long, the "angelic" faces became familiar and the "white city" was the dibia's shrine where his bones was being tied together.
His thought:
"I am so unlucky that I couldn't die from my own hands. I cannot succeed in life and when I decide to end it all, I still fail. What a failure I am. What can I ever do right?
Torn from the realities of life he was to be for the next 10, 20, 30 or even 50 years if he dared to stay that long.
After fastening the rope and kicking away the barrel, the rope snapped and he landed on his back on top the barrel and his spinal cord snapped.
Life may be hard and difficult in every aspect, but stay alive long enough to experience the rising sun, the moonlit nights, the heatwave, the hustle and bustle, the harshness, the riches, the joy and orgasms that make up humanity.
Keep your head up and stay alive long enough to see how things will change for the best or not.
Life is too precious for you to give it all up because you think you have had enough. Someone loves you and needs you to stay alive.
Torn is dedicated to all those who gave up on themselves too soon.
Image source: istockphoto
This is exceptional sir.
Suicidal thoughts that comes out of struggles and hardship often bring this euphoria that when you end your life that's the real deal, that that's the way out. But no!
I tell people...
I love how you connected this:
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for sharing sir.
Wow... I truly resonated with this piece sir. At some point in my life i had similar encounter...
It seems like all was well on the outside but depth down within there was a battle i had to fight.
I thank God for his grace and the people he timely position on my path to bring me back to life.
And i have a well decided to shine in love as well and the reason why my neighbour has a smile on his face.
Thanks alot for putting this together @ejemai.
Nice one, we shouldn't give up easily.
Sometimes life doesn't come the way we planned it, but people forget that failure is only the beginning of something great coming your way, failure is an ampule opportunity for you to try something in a better way, you failed doesn't mean it has ended, even jabez tried and tried he never gave up , sometimes God wants us to drop something and pick up a better one.. nice post, wish I could talk more about it
I have learnt never to give up on life even when I got low votes from steemit as a new being here I kept pressing. Thanks for the hope @ejemai
It never too good to show one weakness . we must always stand to be strong in all times including some bad times.
Everyone has a story, but we only want to listen to the ones that ended in victory. If you give up, how can you tell your story? If you give up, how can your story be celebrated? If you give up, how would you know you could have succeeded? So keep press on because as far there is life we all have hope.
Genius is a great post, so you countless
Thank you so much for fun, funny writing. I'm a general steemit user. I want to follow the wonderful people like you. Please give me upvote and follow me.
Hey, just wanted to let you know I gave you an upvote because I appreciate your content! =D See you around
I absolutely love this. Stay alive, especially for those who love you.
I love this story. Wow. Bravo!.