This desire to help others may well stem from the abuses of the past, but I hazard that it is also part of your generous and kind nature, which is fabulous. Looking out for others, even at the expense of ourselves is something the world needs more of, but definitely with the understanding that we can not give what we do not have. The tendency toward sacrificial giving is beautiful, but can be self destructive, especially when the recipients have no intention or lack the ability to give back likewise. If we are not strong, how can we strengthen others? Being told that the things you are enduring are your own fault is toxic and evil. It takes a narrow minded fool to be so unable to comfort and support those who are hurting. Our ability to understand the nature of someone's hurt is not a factor in the fact that they are in pain. Our imagination that we would not suffer under similar circumstances reveals a profound misunderstanding of human emotion. Drama of any sort should be avoided unless we are at full strength and feel we are able to be one sided givers in a rescue situation. I find myself engulfed in human drama most the time, and I try hard to tread water so I can be supportive, but often feel my head go under. Because of this, none of the involved are allowed to be true friends. I can't engage that intimately because I need to know I can swim away when necessary. Just like a life guard learns that when a victim tries to climb on them in the water, threatening the life guard, you go under water and swim away, because that's the last place a drowning victim wants to go. I have few friends, and fewer good friends. It is sad in one way, but it keeps me from feeling obliged to participate in shallow, meaningless discourse. My few good friends know I would go to the ends of the Earth for them... even to the point of death. Such privileges must be offered carefully. In you, your strength is your weakness. Kindness and sympathy and empathy and caring and love can be crippling.