Thoughts after heart surgery

in #life2 months ago

I can't do all that much right now, but I can write! There are a couple aspects of my recent heart surgery I'd like to mention today.

Gratitude, society, anarchy, healthcare, etc

Surgery is complicated. There are a lot of details that have to be just right. It requires specifically-trained professionals with lots of real-life experience to pull it off. You need special tools, computers, and other equipment. There are financial costs - we must use surgery sparingly, as there is already not enough to go around. It's hard to imagine surgery without specialized healthcare settings like hospitals.

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St. Paul's Hospital, Vancouver BC Canada - source

I guess that's all pretty well understood, and non-controversial. And yeah, I knew that before, considering I was a registered nurse for 10 years. But now that I've been through a major surgery, I really appreciate it.

Balance that, with my longstanding identity as an anarchist.

Well, I've always flirted with anarchy, but never fully committed to it (such as guys like Larken Rose). I've generally been more of a Libertarian. Free markets, Liberty, peace, voluntarism, that kind of thing. Some would call it classic liberalism. It's on the anarchy spectrum, anyway. (And no, I do not consider myself "far right"... nor far anything.)

However you want to label it, I've always believed in very small systems of organization ("government"). I prefer the state to be as tiny and powerless as possible, while still performing the functions I demand of it. The people are not subjects of the system - the system exists to serve the people.

The surgery I went through was "free". As I've said and wrote for years, nothing is free, and you get what you pay for. The Canadian healthcare system is broken, there's absolutely no doubt about that. And yet, I just managed to get a complicated surgery done on my heart, without paying anything from my own pocket (directly anyway). There's something to be said for that. It's not ALL bad. I actually got something in return for my taxes, and for my 10 years of service to the healthcare system. I feel a lot of gratitude for that. Many others are not so lucky. A lot of things are wrong with this system, but a few things are right, and I would be a disingenuous ingrate if I claimed otherwise.

So here I am, a guy who has been anti-big-government and anti-socialized-medicine for a long time, and I just benefited from that system. I'm still physically recovering from the cuts to my flesh, and the changes to my heart tissue. But I'm already feeling better in the way that really matters - the beating of my heart is normal. I'm in sinus rhythm. For most of us, that's nothing interesting or special. For me, that means the end of my nightmare. Arrythmia is no joke - it ruins your life, and makes it shorter. I am SO thankful to be back to a normal heartbeat. Night and day. If I can stay like this, I'm going to be pretty happy, no doubt about that.

I'm kind of wrestling with how to resolve all this in my head. I had to trust a system I have learned does not deserve my trust. I was headed for more suffering and an early death without help, and it came in the form of a surgery. I had to lay my neck on the chopping block, in order to receive something from the system that saved me. I was lucky. Not everybody who goes in, comes back out again in good shape. Some never come back out at all. I'm one of the ones who made it. Now, I'm trying to figure out how it fits with my political/philosophical beliefs.

I still believe in small government, and powerful people. I don't think that will ever change. And I'm still against the evil blob that is Big Pharma, which brings about so much human misery. But I realize there has to be structure and organization, in order for their to be heart surgery, and the only functioning way to achieve that at the moment is this messed up and corrupt healthcare system (and by extension, the systems of taxation and government responsible).

Could it be done other ways? Yes, I believe so. And I'd like to see us try. Exactly how, that's another massive discussion for another time. But we can all agree the way it's done now isn't efficient, and people aren't really properly cared for. It's more of a deathcare system than a healthcare system, we all know that. It's not ALL bad - as I've recently experienced - but as a whole, it's a real disaster. For now, at least until we create a new way of doing what the current system does, it's the best we've got.

I guess you could say I am firmly outside the "burn it all down" group of anarchists. Perhaps I always was, but now it's quite settled. Society doesn't need to go. Most of the people are good people. The system itself is broken, but I'd rather see the bad parts replaced than the whole thing thrown out.

Smart device ubiquity

Years ago, I decided I'd never own or use smart devices, and I've stuck to that decision. My wife and I do not have any smart devices whatsoever, our home is free of smart technology and wifi, and neither of us even own a mobile phone. We have a landline, we have internet in our desktop PC. We own clocks, calendars, a digital camera, and a flashlight. A smart device adds little to our lives, but comes with a heavy cost in terms of health and privacy. We choose to abstain.

But let me tell you: travel and healthcare without a smart device is becoming VERY inconvenient.

It feels like if you don't have a smart device, you're not supposed to be traveling. Seriously, it has become that bad. Everybody's got a smart phone, ipad, google watch, or some other wireless device connected to the internet. Even seniors who don't normally carry a smart device are commonly buying a cheap one for their trip, or borrowing one from a family member. Everybody is carrying while traveling, probably because it has become so difficult to do otherwise.

But to me, that's a problem. Why should humans have to carry certain electronic devices with them? Isn't that very close to requiring humans to carry a microchip in their wrist? Why should I have to own and carry a device that monitors me and gives away my personal data to strangers and those who want to harm me?

Taxis are disappearing, because everybody uses Uber. It wasn't easy getting a ride from the airport to the hotel and hospital, for example. And if you can't hail one, just call one, right? That's no problem - if there are payphones everywhere. But there aren't, because everybody's carrying a phone in their pocket. Well, usually it's a computer, we just call it a "phone". They're likely to use an "app" (essentially a program or website on the computer) to order an Uber ride.

The airport experience is getting tough without a smart device, too. It can still be done, but it's stressful, and less convenient, and can come with additional costs.

The hotel experience without a smart device is becoming just about impossible. It's all-but-required. "I don't have a smart phone" gets you glared at incredulously, as though you're lying, or from another planet. Many times, I have to insist; "No, seriously, I don't have a smart phone." People are gobsmacked that a seemingly-normal 40-something in 2024 does not have a computer in his pocket. Did I just get out of prison? Am I Amish? They just can't figure it out.

As amusing as that is, the whole situation is rather frustrating. I shouldn't have to own/use something I don't want to, period. I should still be able to travel just as well as anyone else, and still have access to healthcare like anyone else, but that is gradually becoming not the case. Without a smart device, I found it VERY difficult to travel (even within my own province of British Columbia), and difficult to access the healthcare system. If the current trend continues, as it has since smart phones first arose 15 years ago, doing so without these devices is going to be nearly impossible in a very short time.

Just a couple topics that came up for me, as I recover at home from my medical trip to Vancouver. I'm sending out my thanks to all those who helped make my surgery happen - my electrophysiologist, anesthetist, nurses, and assistants. Also to everyone who has paid into or worked in the Canadian healthcare system. And my friends and followers online, who encouraged me to pursue the surgery, shared personal stories, gave me tips, and wished me well. I am thankful to God for my life, and this chance I've been given. And I'm very grateful to my wife Katie who has sacrificed and stood by me through all this, putting in extra effort with our 2 young children whenever I'm not able to do my part. I promise it's going to be worth it! 3 years of torture appears to be over, and once I'm fully recovered from the surgery, anything's possible.

DRutter

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